Seeking a Home Where He Himself is Free

~~~~ Content

Muuuch better! :laugh:

All the Stars and Boulevards

~~~~ Sleepy

Changed my design today. Don't know if I like it as much as my other one. It seems like a lot of people do a star theme. But I kinda like it for now... we'll see. It's hard to have multiple themes on one account here... I have noticed that. So if I decide to switch back it'll take some work. Oh well. I've had that ivy theme for years.

I think I'm going to New York on Thursday. Grandma wants to go and my cousins are going up but not until Saturday. So it all of a sudden became "hey, why don't you drive?!" oh, okay... it might be fun. At least I love love love my aunt and uncle's house in new york. They have these great window seats in this bedroom that's great for reading. Maybe I'll take my laptop. They should have wireless...

Wally just called. He has this bad habit at calling at inconvienent times. I mean, it was 12:30. I spent the evening with my family. I'm not in the mode of going out now. Well, I was planning to have coffee with Chanda tomorrow anyways. I gues we'll just have to call him.

25 days til Cairo... :eek:

Up the airy mountain, Down the rushy glen, We daren’t go a-hunting, For fear of little men

~~~~ Pensive

I have an overactive imagination.

Alas, Alagaesia! I did love thee, once . . .

~~~~ Melancholy

Hahaha. So I was perusing amazon.com for all things Eragon. Chanda and I went to see the movie last night and while it did have it's low points it also had some very high ones and I think I did like it overall. Anywhoo, I figured I better get around to reading the Eldest book. Even before I buy the paperback edition in march. So I requested it from the library, then I went to check out some reviews. This evaluation isn't the most positive but I thought it was really funny. Potentially it wasn't suppose to be funny but I got a laugh and I thought I'd share. It does make me a little worried to read the second book of the Inheritence trilogy but it won't stop me yet!

"Eldest" is the second book of the "Inheritance" series, and is a sequel to "Eragon". In "Eragon," we meet the title character, a fifteen-year-old boy, being raised by his uncle in a rural area (but his name isn't "Luke"). Eragon happens to find a dragon's egg, and a beautiful, blue dragon hatches, and chooses him as her Rider (but this is not Pern). The egg had been magically hidden by a beautiful Elven princess, Arya (not Arwen), just before the servants of the evil king Galbatorix (not Sauron) catch her and imprison her. Eragon does his best to care for the young dragon, but the king's men come and burn down his home, and kill his uncle (whose name isn't "Owen"). Eragon leaves his home village, to draw the king's men away, with an old story-teller, Brom (not "Obi-Wan") who is really a dragon Rider in retirement (and never was a Jedi Knight). Eragon makes many friends, and ends up living in a stronghold of those who oppose the Empire, er, I mean the King.Now, on to "Eldest," which starts off right after the huge battle that ended at the end of "Eragon," and during which Eragon defeated the evil Shade, but was also wounded most grievously. Eragon is recovering, and the Varden (think "rebel fleet" without spaceships) are trying to regroup, but one last attack by the Urgals (think Uruk'Hai, but bigger) leaves the king of the Varden dead. His daughter, who is named "Nasuada" instead of "Leia", takes command, Eragon tries to form alliances with all the factions, and then sets off to finish his training as a Dragonrider, with the elves. He is accompanied by Arwen and Gimli -- no! wait a minute! -- by Arya and Orik the dwarf. They travel through the dwarf kingdom, Eragon finds allies and enemies, they cross the desert, they enter Du Weldevarden (the great forest where the elves, led by Queen Islanzadi, instead of Galadriel, live), to meet his trainer/teacher. Yada yada yada, blah, blah, blah. There was more, but nothing interesting, or anything even equally uninteresting, but only more uninteresting. Really. Christopher Paolini's first book, "Eragon," was highly derivative and unoriginal, but I still liked it. I especially liked the one original character, the werecat Solembum. In "Eldest," there is no originality, and there is very little action. As soon as I saw the book, I knew I was in trouble (or it was), as it is twice as big as its predecessor. "Eldest" is bloated, inflated, and laden with endless descriptions of characters, characters' dress, facial gestures, buildings, languages, customs, rituals, history, traditions, and other minutiae. Nothing happens. Also, someone must have suggested to Mr. Paolini that he should beef up his vocabulary. His response appears to have been to ingest a thesaurus whole and, like some nauseated seagull, regurgitate indigestible words in a rather random fashion. I'm not done! The characters have almost all been flattened by steamrollers, leaving totally one-dimensional cardboard cut-outs of archetypes and stock fantasy-epic-story generics. Only Roran, Eragon's love-struck but heroic cousin, comes off as a real person. No one else is likable, realistic, or interesting. Well, now I might be done. I sold my copies of "Eragon" and "Eldest," with the money going to charity. In this way, those books will accomplish some good for someone. I hope that Eragon, Saphira the dragon, and their friends can go on without me. If they can't, too bad.

Hand in hand they stumble into the story

~~~~ Indifferent

Well... break. It's been nice so far. Lots of relaxing, lots of people seeing. Haven't gotten to see Chanda yet because she's sick. Boooo. Really though, I haven't done anything. I unpacked and I've been reading a lot. I really don't want to work but I know I should call Tumbleweed. Perhaps I'll go pick up a Starbucks application tomorrow. Just to see what happens. If that doesn't work I'll go back to Tumbleweed after the Holidays. Because, I mean, I'll still have 20 days here! Sigh. Yesterday Carolyn and I went to see In Pursuit of Happyness. It was okay. The only way I liked it was to remind myself that it was a real story. Then we drove around and hunted for inflatable holiday decorations. hahaha. The best one? An inflatable carosal that went round and round. Yes! I can't wait to go see Eragon with Chanda.

Clan MacPherson

~~~~ Amused

Awww I think I finally found the tartan from my Scotish heritage.



This is the tartan from Clan MacPherson of Gillis.

I kinda like it :laugh: now imagine all my ancestors sporting this!

A Mystical Sense of Reality

~~~~ Recumbent

I'm begininng to realize that whenever I feel alone or scared I bury myself in reading. And when I say bury, I mean reading multiple books in a day.

I wonder what book I should read next.

Nervous twitching, Fingers curled.

~~~~ Dorky

I am officially done with any and all forms of Western Civilization! The exam certainly could have gone worse. I rocked out the essay. Feudal societies bias!!! Thank you Kilbreath. And as a props to Dr. Thurston I even threw in a reference to Russian feudalism! hahahaha. The id's probably could have gone better but I normally feel that way and end up doing okay. I might have fudged up the Peasant's Revolts a little. I couldn't remember what exactly the Magna Carta had to do with them so I made it very general. Oh well, it could have been worse. Plus, I got a glance of quell'uomo so I'm pretty happy. I've just finished my World History paper too. All I need to do is hop over to the computer lab and print it off since that class literally broke my printer. I'm hoping if I put a new ink cartridge in it'll be okay but they're sold out of cartridges at Shirver and I have a gift certificate for Staples at home so I might as well just print things off with my Mulaa and not buy more ink until I get home. The only other thing I'm gonna worry about today is studying for Arabic alittle more. Saleh emailed me today telling me to make him proud on all my exams! Seriously, I'm gonna miss that man sooo much! Four more exams. No worries, right?

Hahaha!

~~~~ Recumbent

I Know These Hands Could Write a Page

~~~~ Worried

Yuck. Transitions suck sooo much. I think I say that every single time I have to come home / go back to school. I just hate it. I love it here. I love it at school. I call both of them home and I feel that way too. Sometimes I feel like the only one who feels that way. Other people either love school and hate home or love home and hate school. Can't we love both? Oh well... Once more, it'll be better once I get back. I'm taking Brian home and Daddy gave us directions to drive past Touchdown Jesus. Yes! Roadtrip!!! I really need to start spending more time with Brian. I always have so much fun with him. It's weird that sometimes I just feel like being by myself. hmmmmm....

This break was great. Tuesday I got home and started out the break by arguing with my parents, particularly my mom. Well, okay, that part wasn't great, but it got better. We sat down Tuesday night and got all my AUC paperwork taken care of. Most of the papers are sitting in the New York offices as I type. It's official. The papers are in. The checks have been signed. I'm going to Cairo. I think that's why I'm nervous. It's real. After all these years of dreaming and wishing it's really coming true. Crazy!!! So after that I went out with some high school friends. Yay random times in the country. It's really easy to forget the adrenaline rush that comes from driving as fast as you can on back country roads at 2 in the morning... hahaha.

Wednesday was pretty low-key. Mom and I went to AAA and got passport pictures. Apparently my mom and dad are finally getting around to getting passports. "You know, just to have." hmmmm, now, whatever could that mean! After that I just kinda relaxed. Saw some more people, and helped Mom get Thanksgiving ready. I like Thanksgiving at my house because I don't have to go anywhere but it also means a lot of extra work. You can never win.

Thanksgiving was kinda disappointing this year. Not as many people showed up this year as normal. Which also meant there weren't as many people to occupy uncle Jack's attention. Which, of course, meant I was cornered and asked tons of questions. This year though I was a little more willing to talk to uncle Jack. I dunno, just the way he asked his questions it made me feel kinda bad. He has had absolutley no experience with college. He didn't go. His parenst didn't go. Neither did his wife or even his two children. Apparently he pictured college as an extreme version of Animal House, which may be the case for some, but I really had to explain to him that I'm not like that. And he still doesn't understand why I'd want to go to Cairo, or "Kay-row" as his son calls it. Grrrrr.

But I survived, as I always do. Friday was another day for friends. Lori and I went to lunch. It was nice to see her again. I'm kinda afraid my Starbucks connection will fall through. But at least the manager at the 'weed has been fired. Maybe I could still work there without it being too awkward with that stalker of mine. After that I did a Wal-Mart run for some necessities. Wal-Mart isn't too bad at 3 pm on Black Friday. More hanging out after that.

Today was all about family. Daddy and I went to the AAA (I sure have seen a lot of that place this break) and got me my plane ticket *eeep* No stop in Europe for me :( Oh well. For some reason, I do believe I will survive. Then Mom and I went shopping. It was for my birthday since it's in 4 days (ahhhh 4 days and I'm not a teenager anymore!!!!!!). I got a cute pair of ballet flats, a new pair of chucks (white and pink), two pairs of sunglasses for Cairo, and hardcover copies of The Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers, The Return of the King, and The Hobbit. Complete with illustrations by Alan Lee. Oh yeah. I've been wanted those for a while. I've literally read my paperback copies to shreads so this is great. After shopping we had pizza at Grandma's. I love family time with the Daddy's side of the family. More presents. I got a gift card for Staples from the Beckers. Yaaay shopping! But by bestest present came from my Grandma. She got me about 100 Egyptian Pounds and a little pocket English-Arabic dictionary. She keeps calling my trip to Egypt "my adventure". She's seriously the cutest thing ever!

So tomorrow it's time to go back to school and "put my nose to the grindstone" or whatever for two more weeks + finals then I have well over a month to just relax and gather myself for my trip... oh, and make some money!!!

P.S. The book Eragon? Not too shabby. I'm kinda excited for the movie now.e

Home for Thanksgiving. So some food for thought.

~~~~ Content

"The gift of spreading discord and enmity is very great. We can fight it only by showing an equally strong bond of friendship and trust. Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open."

As Time Goes By

~~~~ Lethargic

In less then three days I'll be home for Thanksgiving. I can't believe that. That means that in less then a month this room will be packed up and everything will be moved back to my house. Then in a little over two months I'll be on my way to Cairo. Oh my gosh. That's simply crazy. I'm honestly ready for Thanksgiving. I want to go home and relax and I need Need NEED to look at the papers they sent. I guess I just need to take everything else in stride. I'm looking beyond the rest of the year with my friends, the end of classes, finals, and the holidays and looking straight to shipping my behind across the Atlantic for four months. I have so much before me and it doesn't all involve Arabic and Pyramids. oooh well. I need a change. There are people who I thought I was pretty close to but it turns out I'm not. There are other people who I need to start taking a little more seriously and possibly start taking their phone calls again. I don't know. Maybe I should just give up on this life and concentrate on getting over to Egypt and starting over. It seems like the older I get the more restless I become. By my junior year of high school I was bored and ready for a change. College it only took me a three semesters to get ready to get out. That's not good though because the older I get the more I should be preparing myself to settle down and commit to a full-time life. At this rate I'll never be able to have a family.

I'M GOING TO CAIRO!!!

~~~~ Flying High

I did it! I made got into AUC. In 71 days I'll be in Cairo!!! I don't even know what to do with myself. I've gone from laughing hysterically, crying hysterically, calling everyone I know, jumping up and down, invisible hugging, to repeating "I'm going to Cairo" over and over and over again. I do believe I've written it a good 5 times in various places. I wanted to go to Bannerweb to drop my classes for next semester to make it a little realer but I can't :( stupid online holds. Seriously? I'm going to fucking Cairo!

I'M GOING TO CAIRO!!!

The One You Have With Yourself

~~~~ Pretty Darn Good

Only two more classes until the weekend! That's amazing. I'm so ready for a break from everything. I want all my homework done today so I don't have to worry about anything. That sounds too good to me. Lindsay's working a lot this weekend and that kinda sucks because we won't have any random adventures but I'll survive. Wally called last night but I didn't answer. I think I'll call him this weekend. I think he and his girlfriend broke up so I'd assum he'd want to talk about it. I miss him. Seeing those rotc guys in my Arabic class four times a week makes me really miss him. I hope he'll always be okay.

Lindsay registered for my classes next semester since I was in the cemetary for Geology. I have four classes... yeah, that's only 12 credit hours. AND all four of those classes are Tuesday / Thursday. That means I have NO classes MWF. Now I almost want this schedule! But if I did stay here next semester I'd more then likely add a few more classes and they'd more than likely be MWF but still! I kinda like to look at my schedule just because I think it's too funny! Oh well, I still want to go to Cairo more!!!

It's been a month. Any time now, right?

I Need Help Believing

~~~~ Stressed

So much taking on Wednesday. Just one more class and an Italian group and I should be done. But it still felt like an awful lot. I have to deal with the stress of scheduling but I'll probably not even use the schedule. Grrrr.... I mean if I don't get into AUC I'll need classes for next semester. However, I have every intention of signing up for the bare minimum of credits! I'm gonna be extremely emo if I'm not in Cairo next semester.

Other then that I guess it was a same old same old Wednesday. Went to classes, had lunch at Bell Tower, took a Geology Exam. Kinda want it to be the weekend so I don't have to do anything. Yup, for the first time in like a month I have no plans! Woooo! I kinda want to spend Saturday and Sunday in bed but I'm sure that'd get old after like 5 minutes. The weather's getting icky and it's getting dark early. I feel winter coming on but I kinda want it to just be December. Getting ready for the holidays. Spending half the month here with my friends, the other hald at home with my other friends and family. Now that Samhain's over the next thing I have to look forward to is Yule. And that could come fast enough!

Silent Rage Now That Fills My Lungs

~~~~ Discontent

Parent's Weekend was fun. Friday Mom and I went to Kona Bistro. It was nice. I want to take Grandma someday. Then we left town and checked into our hotel. It was right next to the mall we normally go to so we walked around there for a while. I got a new coat. Bright pink! On Saturday we went to the open-air shopping center in Hamilton and bought more stuff. Then we had lunch at Panera Bread and went to Borders. I finally got a travel book for Cairo. Then we relaxed in the room for a while and went to dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory. I got Pasta a la Homer. It was browned butter with cheese on pasta. Apparently legend has it that that's what Homer lived on while he wrote the Iliad. It was okay. But really I got it more for the novelty and I'll probably never get it again. Then we went off to the Steve Miller Band Concert. That was a nice time. They played the Joker and Fly Like an Eagle (obviously) which was really what I wanted to see so I was happy. Sunday simply consisted of a Wal-Mart run before Mom left. It was a nice weekend but honestly I'm looking forward to this week when I have nothing out of the ordinary and nothing major planned this weekend.

Right now there are guys in my room fixing the heater AGAIN! Honestly, I'm looking forward to living in the aparement next year because it was built in 2005 and I won't be expecting these sorts of problems again. I need to go to Cairo next semester just to get out of this room! The heater looks disgusting when the panel's off... I don't want to think about what's growing there!!!

Propelled through all this madness, by your beauty and my sadness

~~~~ Groggy

Flogging Molly is the BEST FUCKING LIVE BAND EVER!!!!

I actually met Dennis Casey and Nathen Maxwell too! Fucking amazing. And apparently I still can't survive a mosh pit without the help of others. We had people looking after us the entire night. Oh well, it was totally worth it. I love Flogginy Molly even more now!

Bittersweet Symphony

~~~~ Sad

So that's it. I'm out of your life and it doesn't matter anymore.

Visit the Zoo and Letters From Hogwarts

~~~~ Exanimate

My window keeps fogging up and it makes me nervous. I really don't want a wet room again... PLEASE!

Yesterday I went to the zoo with Brian! It was so random. We went into the reptile house and I talked to the boa constricter... just like Harry Potter :) But that Boa Constricter was from Madagascar... not South America. Oh well!

This morning Lindsay and I went to breakfast and it was the first time I didn't leave a tip... ever. The chick was potentially the worst waitress I've ever have. Oh well, Bob Evans is over rated... I guess.

It's gonna be a crazy busy week. (Don't make fun of my OCD!)
I know. I'm weird. But now that I've mapped out my week it seems possible. I hope I get home at a reasonable time after Spamalot just because I KNOW I'll be out half the night for the Flogging Molly concert. Oh well, it's all totally worth it!
Monday:
9 - 1: Class
1 - 2: Smoothie
2 - 3: Class
3 - 6: Work (Classics, Western Civ, World History, Geology)
6 - 6:30: Dinner
6:30 - 8: Finish Work
8: Fleece Pillows
10 - 11: Rec
11:30 - Shower

Tuesday:
9: Arabic
10: Language Lab
11: Italian
12:30: Laundry
12:30 - 3: Work (Western Civ, World History, Geology)
3 - 4: Rec
4: Shower
4:15: Dry Hair
4:30: Make-up
4:40: Dressed
4:45: Do Hair
5:00: Leave for Spamalot!

Wednesday:
9: Arabic
10 - 11: Rec
11: Shower
12: World History
1: Smoothie
2: Geology
3: Leave for Flogging Molly!

Thursday:
9: Arabic
10: Uhhh, yeah go back to bed...
Sometime today I'll need to: Do Italian Homework.

Friday:
10: Classics
11: Language Lab
12: World History
1: Lunch
2: Geology
3: Work (Classics, World History, Geology)

I kinda want to start wearing make-up again.

I'd Wait Here Til Then

~~~~ Hopeful

What a week. I've gotten so much done. The only thing I have left is a Geology reading and a few World History readings. I can get that done after Geology today and then I won't have homework this weekend! Yay! I went to the Rec four times this week, just like I wanted, and I got everything else I wanted done done. That'll make up for the less-organized week I'll have next week. What with Spamalot and Flogging Molly I won't get to the Rec as much as I want. Oh well. It's worth it.

I had no Classics class this morning. It was nice. Except for Mom called at 9:30! Oh well, shit happens. Supposedly my slippers should be here today. Normally the post comes at 1:00 so I'll probably run and get them after World History. Because I can! Because Wells is sooo close! I heart living in this area of campus. It's very addicting. My window is absolutley soaking wet but nothing else is so I guess it's just condensation. It makes me kind sad though because I can't see through it and my rooms looks sad :(

Yay for soft pretzels! :)

but at this moment, all he knew was wood scented with missed opportunity

~~~~ Content

Oh Wednesday, how you torture me so. They're always so long and so jammed-packed. This is my one and only moment to catch me breath and it's a grand total of 15 minutes long. I have to go to a geology exam, then come back here, work some more, go to history discussion group, work some more, get dinner, work some more!, work out, take a shower, and watch Lost. I know, I'm superficial and Lost is just as important to me as homework... I need to sort out my priorities! Lindsay and I made exciting plans for Friday though so I'm pretty okay with life. Well... exciting for us. We're going to see the Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D. Then we're going to paint coffee mugs at one of those firing pottery places. It'll be fun. I'm looking forward to it. Room is still dry, which is a good thing. It's not really that cold outside but it's freezing in here. And, of course, the heat won't work. Got my absentee ballot today. STRICKLAND FOR GOVENOR!!! I think I might affiliate myself with the democratic party and just get it over with. Let's be honest, it's not like I really vote anything else...

Well, now I have 10 minutes to relex before this exam...

Hot Hot Hot Sweat Sweet

~~~~ Sore

So not many people expect to come back to their dorm room after a weekend at home and find it SOAKING WET! ... yeah, I did. Apparently there was a leak in the roof above me and it leaked into my room. Imagine a waterbottle condesating after you take it out of the fridge... yeah, imagine that, but COVERING my room. It was maddness! I seriously thought a sprinkler had gone off or something. So I had to sleep in Stephanie's room last night because they took away my mattress and my floor was still wet. It was a very hard floor! So, I'm sore. But I have a mattress now, my room is officially dry, and I kinda want to just curl up in bed right now...

It turns out our Spamalot tickets aren't for this week... they're for next. Which is fine... I'm gonna have a crazy wonderful week next week. First Spamalot, then the Flogging Molly concert, then Mom's coming to and we're seeing the Steve Miller Band and shopping (and she's paying :) ). Score! So now tomorrow is relatively uneventful.. with the exception of Dancing With the Stars :) *tee-hee*

Hide in my Secert Cave

~~~~ Tired

It's bad when I come home because I go on a music downloading rampage. I also got three tv shows from itunes. Samantha Brown's Passport to Europe in Rome, and two shows from some guy on the History Channel. I've seen the show once and it's your typical archeology show that I obsess over except the guy's dressed up like Indiana Jones :rolleyes: Anyways... I got the one on Stonehenge and the other on Troy.

Chanda and I are doing something tomorrow. She should be home by now. She also wants to go see Carolyn but I'm not sure how that'll work yet. I go back Sunday so maybe she'll come with and then head home whenever she wants. Classes start for me again on Monday but we may be able to work something out. Spamalot is also Tuesday so I'm super excited about that!

I was really hoping that I'd have an AUC letter waiting for me when I got here but I don't. It's getting to the point where I don't care if I get in or not... I just want to know! Kinda... I still really want to get in and go (obviously)... Sometimes we get mail on Saturdays... please AUC!

My heart is a purple eggplant

~~~~ Restless

So I gave in and have become a little too Miami for my taste. I own two iPods. It's terrible I know, but here's my rationale: I'm going to Cairo. I have a 12 hour plane ride ahead of me. The new iPods can play 6 hours of movies. Between that and my laptop I'll be able to watch about 4 movies. That's 12 hours of movies. I bought the iPod from the bookstore with my Miami money which I had entirely too much of. It's only real purpose was for laundry. I'm not gonna use all my meal plan this year so all that money will go back to my account. And, this way, I got to keep my gold mini which, in my opinion, is super rare. Now it can sit on my bose speaker and I always have a little stereo in my room. I know, they aren't real excuses but they help me justify my mindless submission to pop American trends that display the ridiculous excess wealth of America.

Anywhoo...


His name is Collins :) So guess what I renamed my gold mini? Angel! :p That makes me super happy. My freshman roommate helped me get movies from DVDs to my iPod so now I have Rent on it. I also have all my songs (2500) 57 pictures, and like 6 episodes of Lost. And I think I've only used like half the space. I'm such a ridiculous spoiled brat.

Going home today. It's fall break. CHANDA WILL BE THERE!!! I'm also taking Brian home so I'll have some company for the drive. That also means I shouldn't make the 4 hour drive in less then 3 :eek: Just Italian to get through and I get to go see Tre! *Tee-hee*

Wonder What's Wrong With Me

~~~~ Rushed

Just got out of Arabic exam. What a relief to be done. Now that midterms are starting I feel more prepared to keep going. Tomorrow I have a World History and Classics Exam. The Classics exam I'm not worried about at all. It's over the Odyssey and, thanks to Mrs. Sidle, I know that book no problem. Just to be safe though I'm meeting a girl from the class at the library to study tonight. Right now I should be doing my Alif Baa but since I got out of Arabic early I have some time to kill. Then I'm going to Italian. Then it's laundry time. Honestly I've never seen my laundry bag so full. After that I fall into my normal Tuesday routine. Homework, Rec, and shower. Then it's library study time and dinner with Brian. Yaaay for Pita Pit! Tonight my only plans are more studying and Dancing With the Stars. It's days like this that I'm glad I schedule my life well. Because I'm not stressed at all. I just have a lot to do but I already know everything I need to do so it's all good. Okay, Alif Baa time.

an ancient town was seated on the sea

~~~~ Numb

The parents have come and gone. The meeting with Dr. Peterson went pretty well I guess. They asked exactly the questions I expected them to ask so there were no uncomfortable suprises. Dr. Peterson told them exactly the things he told me last year. He talked about terrorism a lot which made me kinda nervous but I guess my parents understood where he was coming from. Daddy started talking about finding me flights to Cairo which is always an encouraging sign. Now, once more, all I have to do is wait for the letter from AUC... back to being super nervous!!!

Yesterday was fine. We went shopping Uptown and I got a new Miami sweatshirt, a redskins shirt, and a pair of comfy pants. We went to an antique shop and found a bunch of old Miami yearbooks. We found my grandma and grandpa in them. I thought this was great. I mean, to find a yearbook in your house, or your grandparents house, you expect them to be in them. But it seems so much better when you just walk into a shop and their pictures are still in the yearbook. I just thought it was fantastic. We went to Tuffys this morning to get Daddy a toasted roll. There were a bunch of other alums there who were also buying toasted rolls and I thought it was really sweet. They just seemed so excitied to be here. It kinda makes me appreciate this time a little more. Tonight Steph and I have plans to go to the football game. Wicked halftime show!!! So I really should get my World History and Geology reading done soon... and start studying for me World History midterm. But, it's only 11 AM and I'm REALLY not used to being up this early on a weekend so I guess I have a lot more time then I'm use to :)

You Don't Need to Compromise

~~~~ Nervous

In less than two hours I'll be sitting in Upham with my parents talking to Dr. Peterson. I'm sooo nervous. I'm not really sure what I have to be nervous about but I have a feeling there's something. What if my parents embarass me infront of one of the professors in my departmental major? What if he says something that makes my parents find AUC totally out of the question. At least I'm not expected to do anything. I just have to sit there in silence... praying all the time! I'm just hoping to won't take too long. Knowing my parents they probably have like two questions. He'll answer them in like 20 minutes and we'll be done. Yeah, that's hopeful wishing! I know there's no real point in worrying about it but you know I will! *Deep breaths*

This week started exciting and now it's ending awkwardly. What with this meeting and that geology lab hike I had last night... *groan* why does that kind of shit always happen to me!?!?! Well, at least it's over and I don't have to go to lab for two weeks... and I get to see Chanda in 7 days!

Everything's gonna be alright...

How Could I Have Burned Paradise

~~~~ Creative

This week is actually a good week of happy things. First, Chanda tells me she's coming home for fall break! I get to see her in nine days!!! That makes me really happy. It's the same weekend as my fall break so she can either come here or I can just go home. I'm thinking I should just go home though because no one will be here and there'll be nothing to do. Oh, but knowing that I get to see Chanda so much sooner then I expected really puts me in a good mood :D

Then yesterday Evanescence's new CD The Open Door came out. It's soooo good! I think everyone should buy it. *Note I didn't say steal...*

Anywhoo... and today's a good day because Lost premieres. I love that show with a passion. It has the potential to get corny and that makes me nervous but as of now I'm still obsessed! If they ever kill of Charlie or Sayid though, I'm so gone...

On top of all this I'm wearing my Flogging Molly shirt today. I know that's weird but I've noticed that if I have an article of clothing on that makes me happy I'm generally in a lighter mood. When I was walking to geology today I passed a guy with a Shinedown shirt on and he gave me a double glance when he saw I had a Flogging Molly shirt on... it sorta made my day.

Danean and I also got the Flogging Molly tickets. So I'm going to the show October 25. *Cheers* I do feel a little guilty about spending the money though... I feel like I'm spending so much. I think I can get away with finishing the semester with spending only an additional $100... it could be worse. I just have to remember to get the tickets from home. They have to be shipped to my billing address...

Just a Kindly Hand Extended

~~~~ Calm

Back at school. Now that I've been to classes I feel in sync again. Yesterday was weird. I hate adjusting. I also hate confrontation but go figure. It's not like I should care so much. We hardly ever speak. It's just that when we do I remember him and I begin to think "what if..." But it isn't like I want a future with this guy... just think of his life plans right now. But of course, why does it even matter because he has that wonderful girl to support him and "allows him to follow his dreams."

Gold hair with a gentle curl That's the girl he chose And Heaven knows I'm not that girl...

Applications to AUC were officially due yesterday so now it's time to start crossing my fingers...

my knowledge had no torch to illuminate his gloomy self

~~~~ Relaxed

Uneventful weekend home. Went to my doctor's appointment. Got another prescription. I'm beginning to hate prescriptions. :( The first week I'm to take three pills a day, the second week I'm taking two pills a week, the final week I'm taking one pill a day. Weird!

Today my Mom and I went to get my car washed, then we went to a pumpkin patch and got some pumpkins... and got my car dirty which I had just washed. Now I'm sitting here with nothing to do. Daddy's making pizza though so yay! Tomorrow I think I'll leave around noon... maybe one. We'll see. I don't really have anything else to do. I finished all my homework on Thursday. Tomorrow I'll probably run to Wal-Mart when I get back to school and then I'm thinking I want to watch the Lord of the Rings. Because I just saw some Hercules something or other on the Sci-Fi Channel and Sean Astin was in it! *tee-hee* it was funny to see him normal height!

A Decent Boldness Ever Met With Friends

~~~~ Thoughtful

Yesterday I went to a lecture at the Art Museum called "Imaging Ancient Desire." The lecture was presented by Simon Goldhill. This fabulous Cambridge-man who showed us all these different pictures painted during the Victorian Era with Classical themes. I wish I could take a class that Goldhill taught. It would be wonderful. I'm basically in love with that man.

My favorite painting? Circe by J.W. Waterhouse:

I like how you can just see Odysseus in the reflection of the mirror.

Today in Arabic, Saleh stood on his little soapbox and talked about western students who study abroad in middle eastern countries but don't absorb any of the culture. He was especially bitter about students who went to AUC, only made American friends, and spent all their time drinking at hotel bars and eating at McDonalds. It seems strange to me that people would do that, but it also seems very typical of Miami students, let's be honest. I mean, I honestly wouldn't mind eating at the McDonalds... once. Just like when we went to the McDonalds in Germany. It was fun to see what other cultures consider the norm on something as simple as a McDonalds menu. But I'm one of those people who doesn't mind being a striagh-up tourist one day... taking camel rides to the pyramids, visiting Luxor and Alexandria, eating at a McDonalds.. but then the next day you'll find me wandering the streets (obviously with my macho Cairo-male counter-parts to keep me taunted-free) looking for the best caffe unknown to anyone but the locals. That's my idea of studying abroad!

When I See the Rain

~~~~ Content

I made my language labe experience awkward today. I walked in and there was no one there. So I took out my card and was about to write the time on it when I realized it was week 6 and I was well into week 8. But looking back I noticed that I had blank spaces in weeks one and two. So I decided to just punch the spaces there so I didn't get anymore ahead but filled in those missing blanks. Well, normally they punch after you spend the time in the lab so not only did I put punches where I don't really think they're suppose to be but I punched before I spent the hour here. Don't get me wrong, I'll be here an hour but as I was finishing the language lab attendant came back in and she saw me put my card back in the box. She has to know I did my own punches before I came in but maybe she'll let it go since I'll be here for an hour. I hate uncomfortable moments. Grrrr... :|

Took a "belief quiz" online just now... instead of doing my Arabic :rolleyes: Guess what? I got Neo-Paganism! Yay! It makes me feel good to take these kind of tests and always get Neo-Paganism. It makes me feel like I belong.

Today I'm going to finish up in here, go to Italian, get some lunch, do my laundry, finish my arabic homework, italian homework, and study for my geology lab quiz. Then I'm going to the rec, taking a shower, probably chil-laxin', getting some dinner, going to lecture on women in classical Greece, and coming back to watch Dancing With the Stars. I hope the lecture isn't too long. It's at 7 and Dancing With the Stars is at 8. Which means I should leave the lecture by 7:45 to be back on time and to not leave Laura out in the cold. I know, Dancing With the Stars is pathetic but now it's a bit of an obsession. I can't help it, I want Monique to win!

To Read The Results Of My Beliefs Test...
Neo-Pagans are a community of faiths bringing ancient Pagan and magickal traditions to the modern age--including mostly Wicca but also Druidism, Asatru, Shamanism, neo-Native American, and more. Neo-Pagan is an umbrella term for various and diverse beliefs with many elements in common. Some Neo-Pagans find no incongruence practicing Neo-Paganism along with adherence to another faith, such as Christianity or Judaism.

Belief in Deity
Some believe in a Supreme Being. Many believe in God and Goddess--a duality. Many believe there are countless spirit beings, gods and goddesses, in the cosmos and within all of nature--God is all and within all; all are one God. The Great Mother Earth, or Mother Nature, is highly worshipped. Divinity is immanent and may become manifest within anyone at any time through various methods.

Incarnations
No human incarnations are worshipped in particular, as all of nature and the universe are considered embodiments of God and Goddess, or of gods and goddesses, worthy of respect, reverence, or worship.

Origin of Universe and Life
Generally, there is no conflict between observations revealed through science and Neo-Pagan beliefs on origins of the physical universe and of man. Many believe in a supreme intelligence that created a duality of God/Goddess who then created a spirit world of gods and goddesses as well as all of the universe and nature.

After Death
Many believe in reincarnation after some rest and recovery in the "Otherworld." There is generally no concept of hell as a place of punishment, but some believe wrongdoing can trap the soul in state of suffering after death. Some (Wicca) believe the soul joins their dead ancestors who watch over and protect their family. Some believe that life energy continues in some, if unknown, form. Some believe in various spiritual resting places. Many say we don't or can't know what happens after death.

Why Evil?
"Evil" is imbalance. Most believe there is no evil but rather that people sometimes make mistakes. Wrongdoing results when we forget we are one with the universal spirit.

Salvation
The concept of "salvation" is essentially irrelevant; rather the belief that people can attain spiritual balance and harmony with each other and nature. The path includes group ceremonies, dances, songs/chants, prayers, meditation, trance, altered states of consciousness, the metaphysical, magic, invoking or evoking deities or spirits, Tantric practices. Intercessors are commonly used: psychics, seers, shamans, tarot, Oui-Ja board. Ethical choices are influenced by a belief that one is rewarded or punished within this or after this lifetime for one's choices and an ethical code to do no harm.

Undeserved Suffering
Most do not believe in Satan or any spirit being as the cause of suffering. Some believe in a karma-like principle, that choosing to live a life of wrongdoing and pain will naturally result in suffering in this or later lifetimes. Many view suffering as a result of spiritual imbalance in one's life or on the planet or in the universe. The focus is generally on healing suffering rather than answering definitively why it exists.

Contemporary Issues
Abortion is not condemned, as there is no official doctrine; beliefs about abortion range the full spectrum. Views on divorce, homosexuality, and gender equality are generally very supportive of human differences, equality, and personal choice. Many believe that involvement in community action, especially regarding environmental concerns, is integral to the belief in human interdependence and worship of the Earth Mother.

I Have Carved a Space for You

~~~~ Sleepy

Finally managed to get drunk this weekend. Really? Not worth it for me. It takes too much alcohol over too little a period of time to make that a common occurance. Oh well. It was worth a shot. Today was very quiet. Tried to get some work done. Failed. Sat around and read a Cosmo. Went and tried to get Calzones with Steph but, of course, they ran out right before me... oh well. Life goes on. Now I really should be studying some more for my arabic quiz tomorrow morning but I just kinda want to read Harry Potter. I know, I've read it like a million times but, hey, I like the books, and I might as well read them again. Tomorrow I have to go see Dr. Mark Peterson about talking to my parents when they come down for Homecoming weekend. I can't believe I'm going home next weekend. It's all so rushed. Yesterday I went shopping and bought three pairs of Family Guy socks (Stewie, Peter and Brian), a boondock saints shirt, and an adorable Stitch pillow. Soooo cute. I spent waaaay too much money but I guess I'll deal. Then I came home to see Flogging Molly is coming to Columbus in October! Super Score! Flogging Molly the 25, Spamalot the 17th. What could be better?

The Images Breathe New Life Into My Body

~~~~ Rejuvenated

My new addiction? Yoga! I just started seriously doing it and it feels great. Doing it on my own means I don't have to take it seriously but I can enjoy it. My favorite pose? The reclined butterfly! *yay* I just finished and I feel great. Even though it's Wednesday and I had six classes today and tons of homework doing Yoga for 50 minutes makes everything feel better. And, once more, since I do it on my own, no one laughs at Yoga. I mean, I don't take it so serisouly that I believe I'll live forever or something since I'm doing it. I just want to get back to being as flexible as I was when I was a dancer and cheerleader. Oh, I feel great.

Storck sent in my letter of recommendation. I'm talking to Holly all the time about AUC. She's helping me just as much as Mamie. Holly told me that she has great confidence in me and that I'll get into AUC with no problem :) *tee-hee*

Went to the Art and Architecture Library to do my work tonight. That building is amazing! I'll be going there from now on!

I feel so super fantastic! Annnnnd Grey's Anatomy premieres tomorrow so I have that to look forward to too!

The Images Breathe New Life Into My Body

~~~~ Rejuvenated

My new addiction? Yoga! I just started seriously doing it and it feels great. Doing it on my own means I don't have to take it seriously but I can enjoy it. My favorite pose? The reclined butterfly! *yay* I just finished and I feel great. Even though it's Wednesday and I had six classes today and tons of homework doing Yoga for 50 minutes makes everything feel better. And, once more, since I do it on my own, no one laughs at Yoga. I mean, I don't take it so serisouly that I believe I'll live forever or something since I'm doing it. I just want to get back to being as flexible as I was when I was a dancer and cheerleader. Oh, I feel great.

Storck sent in my letter of recommendation. I'm talking to Holly all the time about AUC. She's helping me just as much as Mamie. Holly told me that she has great confidence in me and that I'll get into AUC with no problem :) *tee-hee*

Went to the Art and Architecture Library to do my work tonight. That building is amazing! I'll be going there from now on!

I feel so super fantastic! Annnnnd Grey's Anatomy premieres tomorrow so I have that to look forward to too!

There is No Better Time Then Now

~~~~ Sick

Oh do I feel disgusting. Just out of Arabic. Took my first exam. It went okay. I didn't know how to write Marhaba or Ahlan. So I just kinda sounded it out. It isn't right. I hope I got all the alphabet dictations right. I just say the alphabet so much different in my head then he does. I know his way is right, obviously, but my biggest problem right now is hearing exactly what he says. I never quite hear him right... if that makes any sense. Right now I should be working on my Arabic since I'm in the language lab but I'm not. My Alif Baa DVD doesn't work, it's all scratched up... I bought it new! I'm gonna try to burn a copy of Stephanie's DVD but is more than likely copy-writed so I'm not sure what to do. I did a lot of my Ahlan wa Sahlan but then I got to two-way connectors we haven't talked about in class so I'm not sure if I should keep going. So I stopped. It's Thursday. I won't have Arabic again until Monday. Life will go on. When I get out of here I need to go to the library. My new book is in *yay* Finally finished the Dune series. Really, it wasn't that good. Some people really like it but it just didn't hold my attention. I'm finally gonna finish the Barry Hughart series. Eight Skilled Gentlemen is up. Now this series I do like! I'm kinda glad I'll have some time to kill before Italian because then I can start it! After Italian I need to call Storck to make sure he sent in my letter of recommendation. Is it weird that I'm nervous to call him? Then Steph and I are going to the Geology Museum... joy and rapture. Then I get a break. I still have some reading to do and I really should finish my Italian I get assigned today, but I will just sit back and relax in my dorm while I do it. I kinda wanted to go to the rec but if I don't feel any better there's not a snowballs chance in Hades I'll be going. After that a girl from Classics and I are going to the library to study, then I'm having some tastey calzones, then wonderful geology lab. All I ask? Is that Napoleon reads the answers to us like he's been doing the past two weeks. This lab is totally worthless. But once I finish it no more science. EVER!

The sentences streaming beyond one word

~~~~ Hopeful

It's amazing how one conversation can change your perspective of the world. I met with Mamie last night. A year ago she was feeling just the way I'm feeling now. Lost and confused. No one would help her. I almost feel really bad for her because she was thrust into Cairo on her own with no one to help her. But I also feel really envious of her because she had the strength to pull through it on her own and still have a fantastic time. But because of her experience she really wants to help me. With anthing and everything. She drew me maps of Cairo, told me about classes to take, and taught me some key phrases I'll need to know while in Cairo. I feel like there's so much more I want to know now but still I'm on the right track.

I will want her at some point to, step by step, go through her #1 application processes... whatever she remembers about it, and #2 her first two days in Cairo. From leaving home, the plane right, to arriving in Cairo, and the second day there as well. She even gave me her Dad's email address so my parents have someone to talk to! She really is my saving grace. And, just to make things even better, it turns out that Holly from my parent's church is in Cairo right now! They can talk to her parents at home now!!! And they relate to them so they'll feel really comfortable with them. Today I need to go to MacMillan and just get a letter saying all my credit will transfer from AUC to Miami. Then I will have (I hope) all my many application compenents in. Then in one week I'm going to call the New York offices of AUC and make sure everything's in. Then I'll still have 10 days to get everything in before the application is fully due. I really feel like things are falling into place.

Things I need to do after I'm accepted:
Get more passport pictures.
Fill out housing application form.
Make $300 deposit.
Submit Transfer Credit Acceptance Form to Miami.
Get a Physical.
Get an HIV/AIDS Test.
Make Sure I Don't Need Any Shots.

CRY FOR JOY!

101 Things

~~~~ Groggy

1. 5th grade teacher's name: Mrs. DeHart

2. Last words you said to dad: probably Bye

3. Last song you sang: Whatever was playing at the bowling alley last night.

4. Last person who hugged: Danean

5. Last thing you laughed at: Probably Harold and Kumar go to White Castle

6. Last time you said I love you and meant it: when i said goodbye to my parents

7. Last time you cried: when i had my panic attack when i first go to school

9. What color socks are you wearing: not wearing any

10. What's under your bed: lots of stuff. it's on risers so i could put things like my laundry basket and my box with towels in it

11. What time did you wake up today: 10, then again at 1

12. Current taste: bubblemint orbit gum

13. Current hair: wet

15. Current annoyance: not much. i finished my homework so i'm really bored

16. Current longing: to get my AUC application in and to know that i'm going to cairo

17. Current desktop background: la salve by viggo mortenson

26. If you could play any instrument: guitar better

27. Favorite color(s): orange

29. How tall are you: 5'1

30. Current favorite word/saying: awkward!

31. Favorite Show: Lost!!!

32. favorite season: Spring

36. What is your career going to be like: whatever i truly want to do... currently I'm thinking anything to do with egyptology

37. How many kids do you want: none

*HAVE YOU EVER...*

39. Said "I love you" : Yess

40. Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird etc: in what?

41. Have you ever been to New York: yes

42. Been to Florida: yes

43. Been to California: yes

44. Been to Hawaii: no

45. Been to Mexico: nope

46. Been to China: Nope

45: Been to Ireland?: Nope

48. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: not the very next day but i have dreamed weird things that have happened

52. Do you have a crush on someone: not a serious crush

53. What book are you reading now?: chapterhouse dune. the dune series isn't very good. i don't recommend it

54. where is it?: my dorm... with me

55. What is the first thing you think when you wake up in the morning: I wanna sleep more

56. How many rings before you answer: however long it takes me to get to the phone

57. Future daughter's names: don't plan to have kids

58. Future son's names: don't plan to have kids

59. What do you sleep with: my pillows?

60. What do you wear to sleep in: some form of pj pants and a tshirt

62. Where do you wish you were?: cairo

63. Piercings: 5 in my ears

64. Tattoos: none

65. Hair color: brown

66. Eye color: it vaires with my mood... blueish

*THE EXTRA STUFF*

67. What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use: herbal essence

70. Who is the last person that called you: Laura?

71. Where do you want to get married: if i could married anywhere i'd pick stonehedge but i realize that won't happen

72. If you could change anything about your life what would it be?: i'd know i was going to cairo and everything would work out

73. Hate: let love replace all hate

74. Been In Love: possibly

75. Are you timely or always late: timely!

76. Do you have a job: sorta... they don't know it but i think i quit!

77. Do you like being around people: depends

78. Best feeling in the world: being loved

80. Are you a health freak: sorta

81. Do you have a "type" of person you always fall for: i dunno... i like curly haired hippies and blonde punk rockers, but i normall end up with some form of geek

86. Do you want kids: no

IN THE LAST WEEK, HAVE YOU...*

87. Cried: no

88. Bought something: yeah

89. Gotten Sick: no

90. Sang: oh yeah

91. Said I Love You: sure

92. Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved them: not really

94. Moved On: not really

95. Talked to someone: that be kinda sad if you went a week without talking to anyone

96. Had a serious talk: i don't really think so

97. Missed Someone: my dog?

98. Hugged Someone: yup

99. Kissed Someone: not really

100. Yelled at Someone: i don't think i've meant it

101. Dreamed about someone you cant have: sorta

Midnight Wish

~~~~ Emo

I feel kinda weird today. My appointment with Marcia didn't go well at all. She just wasn't able to help me the way I had hoped. She told me I should email the people at AUC but I want someone to TALK to... not TYPE to. I'm just so scared I'm not gonna be able to do this by myself. I do have a coffee-date with the elusive Mamie on Monday. I think she'll be able to help me with a lot of the stuff I need. She did it last year AND she was there for an entire year. I need to make sure #1 I send everything in before October 1 #2 How I get my transfer credit approved #3 What the heck these passport-sized photos mean #4 What kind of shots and what-not I need to look into and #4 What I'll need to bring. Those are my main concerns at the moment. I just feel like a year ago I had such a tight grasp on this dream. But now that it's approaching and I should only feel my grip tightening, I only feel it slipping away. I can't handle a disappointment like this again.

All of a sudden in Classics today I felt really alone. I don't know what happened. Maybe it was this kid who sat infront of me who kinda looked like Sean. I began to think about how, in all practicality, I'll never have a relationship like Sean and Megan. Never that kind of mutual dependence, love, and respect. Maybe I'm too independent to ever feel dependent on someone like that, I don't know. Maybe I feel like I'll never find someone who will truly respect who I am. The Pagan, hippie, feminist, who hugs trees and is determined to be fully capable of taking care of herself. Maybe it's just Miami where no male is capable of accepting that. Or, if he is, he's either gay, or has been in a relationship for 4+ years. Or, he's gay AND has been in a relationship for 4+ years!

Arched Across the Sky

~~~~ Nervous

Today in Arabic I finished the lab early so I started to just snoop around the AUC website. I want to go soooo bad! I'm so afraid though that I'm gonna forget to fill out some form, or something, and not be able to get in. No one's holding my hand here. This is all me. It's my responsibility to get everything together, then they'll probably mail be a few letters, and then BAME I either go, or I don't. :confused: That's intense. I have a meeting with the study abroad advisor tomorrow but I'm so afraid she won't be able to help me. I know there have been other students to go to AUC before and I'm sure she helped all of them but I feel like I'm getting no support. Zero. None from my family, not really much from my friends. The only two who are really supporting me are Stephanie and Chanda. And Stephanie has her own hands full planning her semester in Europe and, well, Chanda's in California so that doesn't help me much. I'm really depending on my meeting with Maime. I WILL CALL HER TOMORROW! Right after my meeting with Ms. Waller. She did this just last year so she'll be able to fill me in on everything. Even stupid stuff like the pictures they need mailed in and how to deal with the cab drivers from the airport to AUC :) I know that's lame but that's the kind of stuff I worry about. I really really really want to do this but I'm just afraid it'll be another disappointment in my life. Just like College, my jobs, my car... it seems like everything in my life lately I'm just... settling. I settle on stuff and leave it at that.

Not this time.

I will finish this application on time.I will go to the American University in Cairo. I will love EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!

Speak to Me

~~~~ Relaxed

Home is behind
The world ahead.
And there are many paths to tread.
Through shadow,
To the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight

Mist and shadow
Cloud and shade
All shall fade
All shall...fade.

No there doesn't have to be a reason

~~~~ Bored

Well, I'm back. I made it here in one piece and without any driving problems. Now that everything is in its place the room is perfect for me. Last night I was having severe anxiety issues but now everything's okay. I went to Wal-Mart this morning with the parents and got all the drinks I need. Then Dad helped me get all the frames on the wall with s-hooks. Then they left. I was totally fine. Mom almost cried but at the last minute I was like 'I'll call you if I plan to come home for some random weekend.' I think that made here feel better but I really don't want to go home much. Today we got pretzels *cheers* got parking permits, and went to wonderful Barn n' Bunk. Yes, wonderful Barn n' Bunk is still damn wonderful. Then Lindsay came over and we got the rest of my pictures up. My room is perfect perfect perfect now. We chilled for a while, watching America's Funniest Home Videos and figuring out where all our classes are. Then Steffie came over and saw my room. Everyone approves of my tiny/cute room and that makes me feel better. No one's gonna make fun of my cute room. Tomorrow all the classes start. I'm excited but nervous at the same time. I just need something to do so I'm not watching tv all the time. It's the only I can think of doing alone in this room at the time.

I woke up with despair

~~~~ Distressed

It's official. The creepy dishwasher has now been elevated to stalker-status. Number of times he's called me? 8. I should have never given him my phone number. He asked for my school address so we could keep in touch and that made me kinda nervous. I told Lori about him and she told me she thought he was engaged!!! He's also been in at least two major fights. It was then and there I decided he wasn't getting my real last name and address. I made up a last name, gave him last year's mailbox, didn't bother to include the entire address, and made the zip code one number off. Last night he gave me a greeting card that said I'd be missed more than I know. Then he wrote me a poem about roses being beautiful. Ummm, I don't know this guy! He doesn't know me! Seriously that card is appropriate for a couple who has been dating for several months. Not for two people who don't even know each others last names. The night he gave me the card Lori and Ashley had to take all the dishes back to the dish room because I wasn't brave enough to go back there. This kind of shit doesn't happen to me. I'm not pretty enough to have a stalker! He's called once tonight. He left a voice mail asking me how I liked the card and to call him back. I have no intention of calling him back but what would he expect me to say? I'm just hoping after a few days when I don't call him back and when he gets his first letter back as an unknown address he'll get the idea. I know it sounds harsh and there's probably a nicer way to do this but I'm just so distressed I don't know what to do. I've just never experienced anything like this before I don't know if it's normal or not. The card was definitely not normal. I just hope to get out of this as quickly as possible.

Edit Yeah, just found out, he still has a girlfriend! Maybe the next time he calls I should answer and yell "I know you have a girlfriend! Stop calling me!"

Not of Some Unknown Villan

~~~~ Worried

Well, I did it. I told him I couldn't do anything this week. He called twice while I was at work. I was only at work for three hours. I told him I'd call him. I'm just not use to this kind of attention and I'm a little nervous. Probably no reason to be. I'll be at school for a long time and I'm sure by the time I'm home again he won't even be working here. It's just that, in total, we've probably spoken for an hour out of our entire lives, I know nothing about him other then he works at Tumbleweed, I don't know his last name, how old he his, where he went to high school, if he even finished high school, and he wants to do something, just the two of us? I'm sorry, that's not my kind of dating and I don't think it ever will be. I should have told him I had a boyfriend the frist time he asked me to do something! I should just not worry about it... everything's gonna be alright now.

Tonight Dalila, Lori, and I are going to Galaxy for dinner. I'm really looking forward to it. I never expected to actually make friends at Tumbleweed but those two are great. I hope we have a good time. It should be great. I work tomorrow night (when I give him my school address and my email address, is that a good idea?) and Thursday morning. That's it! Liz cried when I said goodbye to her at work on Sunday. I really can't believe I made friends I'll miss! Friday mom and I are going to Crocker Park. Friday night I'm saying my good-byes to the Beckers. Saturday I HAVE to pack! No exceptions!!!

I'm sooo ready to go back to school!

Disease in my Head

~~~~ Frustrated

I know that my ex tried to get a hold of me quite a bit this summer but I never felt the need to talk to him. Every once in a while I feel kinda bad about it. I even tried to email him once but I couldn't actually get myself to send it. I decided to put it all down and maybe he'll read it here. Maybe he won't. But I will get it all off my chest and that'll make me feel better.

I am sorry I haven't gotten back to you. I really appreciate you being the bigger person and taking some initiative. However, I have had a very busy summer. What with a car accident which totaled my car, getting my new car, applying to the American University at Cairo, seeing old friends, travelling, and working long hours at a new job, I honestly have had more on my mind and totally forgot about calling you back. And to be perfectly honest with you, I'm completely over you. I haven't spent much of the summer thinking of you. I'm not saying that to offend you, I'm just being frank. And therefore, since I don't feel the need to seek any closure with you, the only thing I feel like I would say to you is "I was right!" You see, even though I'm over you I can't get over the fact that you told me all your friends at school were strictly platonic and now you're dating Fiona. So I appreciate you trying to stay in touch, but honestly, I have too much on my mind to attempt the very awkward conversation we would have. I hope you have had a good summer and have an even better school year. I wish you the best.

So anways... now I feel better. Got asked out again today. Eeeep! How weird is it that I want to get back to Miami where people find me unattractive and don't ask me out? Anways, his name is Josh and he's really nice and sweet but he really isn't my time. He works at Tumbleweed and I don't even know how old he is. I'm really nervous about this... so we'll see if I have time before I go about to school. Once more, eeeeeeep!