I'm Anything But Ordinary

I'm Anything But Ordinary

30 September 2006

my knowledge had no torch to illuminate his gloomy self

~~~~ Relaxed

Uneventful weekend home. Went to my doctor's appointment. Got another prescription. I'm beginning to hate prescriptions. :( The first week I'm to take three pills a day, the second week I'm taking two pills a week, the final week I'm taking one pill a day. Weird!

Today my Mom and I went to get my car washed, then we went to a pumpkin patch and got some pumpkins... and got my car dirty which I had just washed. Now I'm sitting here with nothing to do. Daddy's making pizza though so yay! Tomorrow I think I'll leave around noon... maybe one. We'll see. I don't really have anything else to do. I finished all my homework on Thursday. Tomorrow I'll probably run to Wal-Mart when I get back to school and then I'm thinking I want to watch the Lord of the Rings. Because I just saw some Hercules something or other on the Sci-Fi Channel and Sean Astin was in it! *tee-hee* it was funny to see him normal height!

28 September 2006

A Decent Boldness Ever Met With Friends

~~~~ Thoughtful

Yesterday I went to a lecture at the Art Museum called "Imaging Ancient Desire." The lecture was presented by Simon Goldhill. This fabulous Cambridge-man who showed us all these different pictures painted during the Victorian Era with Classical themes. I wish I could take a class that Goldhill taught. It would be wonderful. I'm basically in love with that man.

My favorite painting? Circe by J.W. Waterhouse:

I like how you can just see Odysseus in the reflection of the mirror.

Today in Arabic, Saleh stood on his little soapbox and talked about western students who study abroad in middle eastern countries but don't absorb any of the culture. He was especially bitter about students who went to AUC, only made American friends, and spent all their time drinking at hotel bars and eating at McDonalds. It seems strange to me that people would do that, but it also seems very typical of Miami students, let's be honest. I mean, I honestly wouldn't mind eating at the McDonalds... once. Just like when we went to the McDonalds in Germany. It was fun to see what other cultures consider the norm on something as simple as a McDonalds menu. But I'm one of those people who doesn't mind being a striagh-up tourist one day... taking camel rides to the pyramids, visiting Luxor and Alexandria, eating at a McDonalds.. but then the next day you'll find me wandering the streets (obviously with my macho Cairo-male counter-parts to keep me taunted-free) looking for the best caffe unknown to anyone but the locals. That's my idea of studying abroad!

26 September 2006

When I See the Rain

~~~~ Content

I made my language labe experience awkward today. I walked in and there was no one there. So I took out my card and was about to write the time on it when I realized it was week 6 and I was well into week 8. But looking back I noticed that I had blank spaces in weeks one and two. So I decided to just punch the spaces there so I didn't get anymore ahead but filled in those missing blanks. Well, normally they punch after you spend the time in the lab so not only did I put punches where I don't really think they're suppose to be but I punched before I spent the hour here. Don't get me wrong, I'll be here an hour but as I was finishing the language lab attendant came back in and she saw me put my card back in the box. She has to know I did my own punches before I came in but maybe she'll let it go since I'll be here for an hour. I hate uncomfortable moments. Grrrr... :|

Took a "belief quiz" online just now... instead of doing my Arabic :rolleyes: Guess what? I got Neo-Paganism! Yay! It makes me feel good to take these kind of tests and always get Neo-Paganism. It makes me feel like I belong.

Today I'm going to finish up in here, go to Italian, get some lunch, do my laundry, finish my arabic homework, italian homework, and study for my geology lab quiz. Then I'm going to the rec, taking a shower, probably chil-laxin', getting some dinner, going to lecture on women in classical Greece, and coming back to watch Dancing With the Stars. I hope the lecture isn't too long. It's at 7 and Dancing With the Stars is at 8. Which means I should leave the lecture by 7:45 to be back on time and to not leave Laura out in the cold. I know, Dancing With the Stars is pathetic but now it's a bit of an obsession. I can't help it, I want Monique to win!

To Read The Results Of My Beliefs Test...
Neo-Pagans are a community of faiths bringing ancient Pagan and magickal traditions to the modern age--including mostly Wicca but also Druidism, Asatru, Shamanism, neo-Native American, and more. Neo-Pagan is an umbrella term for various and diverse beliefs with many elements in common. Some Neo-Pagans find no incongruence practicing Neo-Paganism along with adherence to another faith, such as Christianity or Judaism.

Belief in Deity
Some believe in a Supreme Being. Many believe in God and Goddess--a duality. Many believe there are countless spirit beings, gods and goddesses, in the cosmos and within all of nature--God is all and within all; all are one God. The Great Mother Earth, or Mother Nature, is highly worshipped. Divinity is immanent and may become manifest within anyone at any time through various methods.

No human incarnations are worshipped in particular, as all of nature and the universe are considered embodiments of God and Goddess, or of gods and goddesses, worthy of respect, reverence, or worship.

Origin of Universe and Life
Generally, there is no conflict between observations revealed through science and Neo-Pagan beliefs on origins of the physical universe and of man. Many believe in a supreme intelligence that created a duality of God/Goddess who then created a spirit world of gods and goddesses as well as all of the universe and nature.

After Death
Many believe in reincarnation after some rest and recovery in the "Otherworld." There is generally no concept of hell as a place of punishment, but some believe wrongdoing can trap the soul in state of suffering after death. Some (Wicca) believe the soul joins their dead ancestors who watch over and protect their family. Some believe that life energy continues in some, if unknown, form. Some believe in various spiritual resting places. Many say we don't or can't know what happens after death.

Why Evil?
"Evil" is imbalance. Most believe there is no evil but rather that people sometimes make mistakes. Wrongdoing results when we forget we are one with the universal spirit.

The concept of "salvation" is essentially irrelevant; rather the belief that people can attain spiritual balance and harmony with each other and nature. The path includes group ceremonies, dances, songs/chants, prayers, meditation, trance, altered states of consciousness, the metaphysical, magic, invoking or evoking deities or spirits, Tantric practices. Intercessors are commonly used: psychics, seers, shamans, tarot, Oui-Ja board. Ethical choices are influenced by a belief that one is rewarded or punished within this or after this lifetime for one's choices and an ethical code to do no harm.

Undeserved Suffering
Most do not believe in Satan or any spirit being as the cause of suffering. Some believe in a karma-like principle, that choosing to live a life of wrongdoing and pain will naturally result in suffering in this or later lifetimes. Many view suffering as a result of spiritual imbalance in one's life or on the planet or in the universe. The focus is generally on healing suffering rather than answering definitively why it exists.

Contemporary Issues
Abortion is not condemned, as there is no official doctrine; beliefs about abortion range the full spectrum. Views on divorce, homosexuality, and gender equality are generally very supportive of human differences, equality, and personal choice. Many believe that involvement in community action, especially regarding environmental concerns, is integral to the belief in human interdependence and worship of the Earth Mother.

24 September 2006

I Have Carved a Space for You

~~~~ Sleepy

Finally managed to get drunk this weekend. Really? Not worth it for me. It takes too much alcohol over too little a period of time to make that a common occurance. Oh well. It was worth a shot. Today was very quiet. Tried to get some work done. Failed. Sat around and read a Cosmo. Went and tried to get Calzones with Steph but, of course, they ran out right before me... oh well. Life goes on. Now I really should be studying some more for my arabic quiz tomorrow morning but I just kinda want to read Harry Potter. I know, I've read it like a million times but, hey, I like the books, and I might as well read them again. Tomorrow I have to go see Dr. Mark Peterson about talking to my parents when they come down for Homecoming weekend. I can't believe I'm going home next weekend. It's all so rushed. Yesterday I went shopping and bought three pairs of Family Guy socks (Stewie, Peter and Brian), a boondock saints shirt, and an adorable Stitch pillow. Soooo cute. I spent waaaay too much money but I guess I'll deal. Then I came home to see Flogging Molly is coming to Columbus in October! Super Score! Flogging Molly the 25, Spamalot the 17th. What could be better?

20 September 2006

The Images Breathe New Life Into My Body

~~~~ Rejuvenated

My new addiction? Yoga! I just started seriously doing it and it feels great. Doing it on my own means I don't have to take it seriously but I can enjoy it. My favorite pose? The reclined butterfly! *yay* I just finished and I feel great. Even though it's Wednesday and I had six classes today and tons of homework doing Yoga for 50 minutes makes everything feel better. And, once more, since I do it on my own, no one laughs at Yoga. I mean, I don't take it so serisouly that I believe I'll live forever or something since I'm doing it. I just want to get back to being as flexible as I was when I was a dancer and cheerleader. Oh, I feel great.

Storck sent in my letter of recommendation. I'm talking to Holly all the time about AUC. She's helping me just as much as Mamie. Holly told me that she has great confidence in me and that I'll get into AUC with no problem :) *tee-hee*

Went to the Art and Architecture Library to do my work tonight. That building is amazing! I'll be going there from now on!

I feel so super fantastic! Annnnnd Grey's Anatomy premieres tomorrow so I have that to look forward to too!

The Images Breathe New Life Into My Body

~~~~ Rejuvenated

My new addiction? Yoga! I just started seriously doing it and it feels great. Doing it on my own means I don't have to take it seriously but I can enjoy it. My favorite pose? The reclined butterfly! *yay* I just finished and I feel great. Even though it's Wednesday and I had six classes today and tons of homework doing Yoga for 50 minutes makes everything feel better. And, once more, since I do it on my own, no one laughs at Yoga. I mean, I don't take it so serisouly that I believe I'll live forever or something since I'm doing it. I just want to get back to being as flexible as I was when I was a dancer and cheerleader. Oh, I feel great.

Storck sent in my letter of recommendation. I'm talking to Holly all the time about AUC. She's helping me just as much as Mamie. Holly told me that she has great confidence in me and that I'll get into AUC with no problem :) *tee-hee*

Went to the Art and Architecture Library to do my work tonight. That building is amazing! I'll be going there from now on!

I feel so super fantastic! Annnnnd Grey's Anatomy premieres tomorrow so I have that to look forward to too!

14 September 2006

There is No Better Time Then Now

~~~~ Sick

Oh do I feel disgusting. Just out of Arabic. Took my first exam. It went okay. I didn't know how to write Marhaba or Ahlan. So I just kinda sounded it out. It isn't right. I hope I got all the alphabet dictations right. I just say the alphabet so much different in my head then he does. I know his way is right, obviously, but my biggest problem right now is hearing exactly what he says. I never quite hear him right... if that makes any sense. Right now I should be working on my Arabic since I'm in the language lab but I'm not. My Alif Baa DVD doesn't work, it's all scratched up... I bought it new! I'm gonna try to burn a copy of Stephanie's DVD but is more than likely copy-writed so I'm not sure what to do. I did a lot of my Ahlan wa Sahlan but then I got to two-way connectors we haven't talked about in class so I'm not sure if I should keep going. So I stopped. It's Thursday. I won't have Arabic again until Monday. Life will go on. When I get out of here I need to go to the library. My new book is in *yay* Finally finished the Dune series. Really, it wasn't that good. Some people really like it but it just didn't hold my attention. I'm finally gonna finish the Barry Hughart series. Eight Skilled Gentlemen is up. Now this series I do like! I'm kinda glad I'll have some time to kill before Italian because then I can start it! After Italian I need to call Storck to make sure he sent in my letter of recommendation. Is it weird that I'm nervous to call him? Then Steph and I are going to the Geology Museum... joy and rapture. Then I get a break. I still have some reading to do and I really should finish my Italian I get assigned today, but I will just sit back and relax in my dorm while I do it. I kinda wanted to go to the rec but if I don't feel any better there's not a snowballs chance in Hades I'll be going. After that a girl from Classics and I are going to the library to study, then I'm having some tastey calzones, then wonderful geology lab. All I ask? Is that Napoleon reads the answers to us like he's been doing the past two weeks. This lab is totally worthless. But once I finish it no more science. EVER!

12 September 2006

The sentences streaming beyond one word

~~~~ Hopeful

It's amazing how one conversation can change your perspective of the world. I met with Mamie last night. A year ago she was feeling just the way I'm feeling now. Lost and confused. No one would help her. I almost feel really bad for her because she was thrust into Cairo on her own with no one to help her. But I also feel really envious of her because she had the strength to pull through it on her own and still have a fantastic time. But because of her experience she really wants to help me. With anthing and everything. She drew me maps of Cairo, told me about classes to take, and taught me some key phrases I'll need to know while in Cairo. I feel like there's so much more I want to know now but still I'm on the right track.

I will want her at some point to, step by step, go through her #1 application processes... whatever she remembers about it, and #2 her first two days in Cairo. From leaving home, the plane right, to arriving in Cairo, and the second day there as well. She even gave me her Dad's email address so my parents have someone to talk to! She really is my saving grace. And, just to make things even better, it turns out that Holly from my parent's church is in Cairo right now! They can talk to her parents at home now!!! And they relate to them so they'll feel really comfortable with them. Today I need to go to MacMillan and just get a letter saying all my credit will transfer from AUC to Miami. Then I will have (I hope) all my many application compenents in. Then in one week I'm going to call the New York offices of AUC and make sure everything's in. Then I'll still have 10 days to get everything in before the application is fully due. I really feel like things are falling into place.

Things I need to do after I'm accepted:
Get more passport pictures.
Fill out housing application form.
Make $300 deposit.
Submit Transfer Credit Acceptance Form to Miami.
Get a Physical.
Get an HIV/AIDS Test.
Make Sure I Don't Need Any Shots.


10 September 2006

101 Things

~~~~ Groggy

1. 5th grade teacher's name: Mrs. DeHart

2. Last words you said to dad: probably Bye

3. Last song you sang: Whatever was playing at the bowling alley last night.

4. Last person who hugged: Danean

5. Last thing you laughed at: Probably Harold and Kumar go to White Castle

6. Last time you said I love you and meant it: when i said goodbye to my parents

7. Last time you cried: when i had my panic attack when i first go to school

9. What color socks are you wearing: not wearing any

10. What's under your bed: lots of stuff. it's on risers so i could put things like my laundry basket and my box with towels in it

11. What time did you wake up today: 10, then again at 1

12. Current taste: bubblemint orbit gum

13. Current hair: wet

15. Current annoyance: not much. i finished my homework so i'm really bored

16. Current longing: to get my AUC application in and to know that i'm going to cairo

17. Current desktop background: la salve by viggo mortenson

26. If you could play any instrument: guitar better

27. Favorite color(s): orange

29. How tall are you: 5'1

30. Current favorite word/saying: awkward!

31. Favorite Show: Lost!!!

32. favorite season: Spring

36. What is your career going to be like: whatever i truly want to do... currently I'm thinking anything to do with egyptology

37. How many kids do you want: none


39. Said "I love you" : Yess

40. Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird etc: in what?

41. Have you ever been to New York: yes

42. Been to Florida: yes

43. Been to California: yes

44. Been to Hawaii: no

45. Been to Mexico: nope

46. Been to China: Nope

45: Been to Ireland?: Nope

48. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: not the very next day but i have dreamed weird things that have happened

52. Do you have a crush on someone: not a serious crush

53. What book are you reading now?: chapterhouse dune. the dune series isn't very good. i don't recommend it

54. where is it?: my dorm... with me

55. What is the first thing you think when you wake up in the morning: I wanna sleep more

56. How many rings before you answer: however long it takes me to get to the phone

57. Future daughter's names: don't plan to have kids

58. Future son's names: don't plan to have kids

59. What do you sleep with: my pillows?

60. What do you wear to sleep in: some form of pj pants and a tshirt

62. Where do you wish you were?: cairo

63. Piercings: 5 in my ears

64. Tattoos: none

65. Hair color: brown

66. Eye color: it vaires with my mood... blueish


67. What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use: herbal essence

70. Who is the last person that called you: Laura?

71. Where do you want to get married: if i could married anywhere i'd pick stonehedge but i realize that won't happen

72. If you could change anything about your life what would it be?: i'd know i was going to cairo and everything would work out

73. Hate: let love replace all hate

74. Been In Love: possibly

75. Are you timely or always late: timely!

76. Do you have a job: sorta... they don't know it but i think i quit!

77. Do you like being around people: depends

78. Best feeling in the world: being loved

80. Are you a health freak: sorta

81. Do you have a "type" of person you always fall for: i dunno... i like curly haired hippies and blonde punk rockers, but i normall end up with some form of geek

86. Do you want kids: no


87. Cried: no

88. Bought something: yeah

89. Gotten Sick: no

90. Sang: oh yeah

91. Said I Love You: sure

92. Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved them: not really

94. Moved On: not really

95. Talked to someone: that be kinda sad if you went a week without talking to anyone

96. Had a serious talk: i don't really think so

97. Missed Someone: my dog?

98. Hugged Someone: yup

99. Kissed Someone: not really

100. Yelled at Someone: i don't think i've meant it

101. Dreamed about someone you cant have: sorta

08 September 2006

Midnight Wish

~~~~ Emo

I feel kinda weird today. My appointment with Marcia didn't go well at all. She just wasn't able to help me the way I had hoped. She told me I should email the people at AUC but I want someone to TALK to... not TYPE to. I'm just so scared I'm not gonna be able to do this by myself. I do have a coffee-date with the elusive Mamie on Monday. I think she'll be able to help me with a lot of the stuff I need. She did it last year AND she was there for an entire year. I need to make sure #1 I send everything in before October 1 #2 How I get my transfer credit approved #3 What the heck these passport-sized photos mean #4 What kind of shots and what-not I need to look into and #4 What I'll need to bring. Those are my main concerns at the moment. I just feel like a year ago I had such a tight grasp on this dream. But now that it's approaching and I should only feel my grip tightening, I only feel it slipping away. I can't handle a disappointment like this again.

All of a sudden in Classics today I felt really alone. I don't know what happened. Maybe it was this kid who sat infront of me who kinda looked like Sean. I began to think about how, in all practicality, I'll never have a relationship like Sean and Megan. Never that kind of mutual dependence, love, and respect. Maybe I'm too independent to ever feel dependent on someone like that, I don't know. Maybe I feel like I'll never find someone who will truly respect who I am. The Pagan, hippie, feminist, who hugs trees and is determined to be fully capable of taking care of herself. Maybe it's just Miami where no male is capable of accepting that. Or, if he is, he's either gay, or has been in a relationship for 4+ years. Or, he's gay AND has been in a relationship for 4+ years!

06 September 2006

Arched Across the Sky

~~~~ Nervous

Today in Arabic I finished the lab early so I started to just snoop around the AUC website. I want to go soooo bad! I'm so afraid though that I'm gonna forget to fill out some form, or something, and not be able to get in. No one's holding my hand here. This is all me. It's my responsibility to get everything together, then they'll probably mail be a few letters, and then BAME I either go, or I don't. :confused: That's intense. I have a meeting with the study abroad advisor tomorrow but I'm so afraid she won't be able to help me. I know there have been other students to go to AUC before and I'm sure she helped all of them but I feel like I'm getting no support. Zero. None from my family, not really much from my friends. The only two who are really supporting me are Stephanie and Chanda. And Stephanie has her own hands full planning her semester in Europe and, well, Chanda's in California so that doesn't help me much. I'm really depending on my meeting with Maime. I WILL CALL HER TOMORROW! Right after my meeting with Ms. Waller. She did this just last year so she'll be able to fill me in on everything. Even stupid stuff like the pictures they need mailed in and how to deal with the cab drivers from the airport to AUC :) I know that's lame but that's the kind of stuff I worry about. I really really really want to do this but I'm just afraid it'll be another disappointment in my life. Just like College, my jobs, my car... it seems like everything in my life lately I'm just... settling. I settle on stuff and leave it at that.

Not this time.

I will finish this application on time.I will go to the American University in Cairo.

I will love EVERY MINUTE OF IT!!!

02 September 2006

Speak to Me

~~~~ Relaxed

Home is behind
The world ahead.
And there are many paths to tread.
Through shadow,
To the edge of night
Until the stars are all alight

Mist and shadow
Cloud and shade
All shall fade
All shall...fade.