No there doesn't have to be a reason

~~~~ Bored

Well, I'm back. I made it here in one piece and without any driving problems. Now that everything is in its place the room is perfect for me. Last night I was having severe anxiety issues but now everything's okay. I went to Wal-Mart this morning with the parents and got all the drinks I need. Then Dad helped me get all the frames on the wall with s-hooks. Then they left. I was totally fine. Mom almost cried but at the last minute I was like 'I'll call you if I plan to come home for some random weekend.' I think that made here feel better but I really don't want to go home much. Today we got pretzels *cheers* got parking permits, and went to wonderful Barn n' Bunk. Yes, wonderful Barn n' Bunk is still damn wonderful. Then Lindsay came over and we got the rest of my pictures up. My room is perfect perfect perfect now. We chilled for a while, watching America's Funniest Home Videos and figuring out where all our classes are. Then Steffie came over and saw my room. Everyone approves of my tiny/cute room and that makes me feel better. No one's gonna make fun of my cute room. Tomorrow all the classes start. I'm excited but nervous at the same time. I just need something to do so I'm not watching tv all the time. It's the only I can think of doing alone in this room at the time.

I woke up with despair

~~~~ Distressed

It's official. The creepy dishwasher has now been elevated to stalker-status. Number of times he's called me? 8. I should have never given him my phone number. He asked for my school address so we could keep in touch and that made me kinda nervous. I told Lori about him and she told me she thought he was engaged!!! He's also been in at least two major fights. It was then and there I decided he wasn't getting my real last name and address. I made up a last name, gave him last year's mailbox, didn't bother to include the entire address, and made the zip code one number off. Last night he gave me a greeting card that said I'd be missed more than I know. Then he wrote me a poem about roses being beautiful. Ummm, I don't know this guy! He doesn't know me! Seriously that card is appropriate for a couple who has been dating for several months. Not for two people who don't even know each others last names. The night he gave me the card Lori and Ashley had to take all the dishes back to the dish room because I wasn't brave enough to go back there. This kind of shit doesn't happen to me. I'm not pretty enough to have a stalker! He's called once tonight. He left a voice mail asking me how I liked the card and to call him back. I have no intention of calling him back but what would he expect me to say? I'm just hoping after a few days when I don't call him back and when he gets his first letter back as an unknown address he'll get the idea. I know it sounds harsh and there's probably a nicer way to do this but I'm just so distressed I don't know what to do. I've just never experienced anything like this before I don't know if it's normal or not. The card was definitely not normal. I just hope to get out of this as quickly as possible.

Edit Yeah, just found out, he still has a girlfriend! Maybe the next time he calls I should answer and yell "I know you have a girlfriend! Stop calling me!"

Not of Some Unknown Villan

~~~~ Worried

Well, I did it. I told him I couldn't do anything this week. He called twice while I was at work. I was only at work for three hours. I told him I'd call him. I'm just not use to this kind of attention and I'm a little nervous. Probably no reason to be. I'll be at school for a long time and I'm sure by the time I'm home again he won't even be working here. It's just that, in total, we've probably spoken for an hour out of our entire lives, I know nothing about him other then he works at Tumbleweed, I don't know his last name, how old he his, where he went to high school, if he even finished high school, and he wants to do something, just the two of us? I'm sorry, that's not my kind of dating and I don't think it ever will be. I should have told him I had a boyfriend the frist time he asked me to do something! I should just not worry about it... everything's gonna be alright now.

Tonight Dalila, Lori, and I are going to Galaxy for dinner. I'm really looking forward to it. I never expected to actually make friends at Tumbleweed but those two are great. I hope we have a good time. It should be great. I work tomorrow night (when I give him my school address and my email address, is that a good idea?) and Thursday morning. That's it! Liz cried when I said goodbye to her at work on Sunday. I really can't believe I made friends I'll miss! Friday mom and I are going to Crocker Park. Friday night I'm saying my good-byes to the Beckers. Saturday I HAVE to pack! No exceptions!!!

I'm sooo ready to go back to school!

Disease in my Head

~~~~ Frustrated

I know that my ex tried to get a hold of me quite a bit this summer but I never felt the need to talk to him. Every once in a while I feel kinda bad about it. I even tried to email him once but I couldn't actually get myself to send it. I decided to put it all down and maybe he'll read it here. Maybe he won't. But I will get it all off my chest and that'll make me feel better.

I am sorry I haven't gotten back to you. I really appreciate you being the bigger person and taking some initiative. However, I have had a very busy summer. What with a car accident which totaled my car, getting my new car, applying to the American University at Cairo, seeing old friends, travelling, and working long hours at a new job, I honestly have had more on my mind and totally forgot about calling you back. And to be perfectly honest with you, I'm completely over you. I haven't spent much of the summer thinking of you. I'm not saying that to offend you, I'm just being frank. And therefore, since I don't feel the need to seek any closure with you, the only thing I feel like I would say to you is "I was right!" You see, even though I'm over you I can't get over the fact that you told me all your friends at school were strictly platonic and now you're dating Fiona. So I appreciate you trying to stay in touch, but honestly, I have too much on my mind to attempt the very awkward conversation we would have. I hope you have had a good summer and have an even better school year. I wish you the best.

So anways... now I feel better. Got asked out again today. Eeeep! How weird is it that I want to get back to Miami where people find me unattractive and don't ask me out? Anways, his name is Josh and he's really nice and sweet but he really isn't my time. He works at Tumbleweed and I don't even know how old he is. I'm really nervous about this... so we'll see if I have time before I go about to school. Once more, eeeeeeep!

Around the Corner I Have a Friend..

~~~~ Gloomy

I thought this year I'd be able to handle this better. At least I didn't cry. I just wish Chanda left after me, just once. She flies to California tomorrow. I feel as if this year I want to stay in touch better but we'll see what happens when I go back to school too. But Chanda said something tonight that is totally right. I mentioned that she's the only person at home that I truly miss at school and she agreed but it always seems like when we see each other during breaks and stuff it seems like only a week or two since we last saw each other. That's so right. Time may pass but we know each other so well things never change between us. Thinking back to high school I can't believe I actually put a boy before her at times. I'm practically ashamed that I dated during high school instead of staying connected to her hip. That does give me hope though because now I know we'll stay best friends forever, no matter what. I know whatever I think or say will be accepted by her. She's the only one I could go to a Renaissance Faire, and nerdily discuss Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, and watch any and every movie on the planet with. We just fit.

At least we ended the summer with a bang. We spontaneously shopped at Best Buy, got ice cream at Coldstone, watched the high schoolers at band practice, laughed until we peed talking to Chanda's brother and his friend, spontaneously shopped at Wal-Mart, and watched Elizabethtown. I knew she would like that movie! Others might hate it and not get it at all but I knew we would enjoy it and laugh at all the moments that really aren't that funny but are just made better because we're sitting beside each other. I might be very sad because she's gone and I won't see her for four months but it just gives me something to look forward to.

I have two soul mates in my life. My dog and my best friend.

We just fit.

Sometimes You Just Can't Win

~~~~ Tired

I thought I was gonna get this snazy new car AND power locks but I guess the power locks will just have to wait... for up to a year! Seriously, sometimes the world totally hates me. I guess I can deal. At least it's a car in college. Plus I haven't had to work much this week so I've gotten a bit of a break. No work Monday, morning work Tuesday, no work today. I close tomorrow with my two least favorite hostesses but I'll live. Because Friday and Saturday I work in the morning. And Sunday I don't work with both my least favorites. Plus, at the most, I only have 9 days of work left. Then it's back to school! Oh, I'm ready.

Mom and I went shopping today. I got a new pair of chucks, some cute Greek-inspired sandals, an olive skirt, a brown skirt, and two button-up tops. I also got a book called American Gods by Neil Gaiman. Chanda said it's really good so I figured I'd check it out. We also ate at Red Robin and Cold Stone. Yummy, I missed Coldstone. :) I think I wanna go finish my veggie wrap from Red Robin now...

These Last Two Weeks Can't Go Fast Enough

~~~~ Annoyed

I understand that my 2003 Ford Focus was a bit of a financial surprise and that I should help pay for it. In fact, I don't think I'd have it any other way. But to leave a reciept on the counter with a note saying "Your total is..." Is tacky and in bad taste. Plus, she's charging me for my damn arm brace. Oh well, now she can pay for my keyless entry and I won't feel bad about not wearing my brace. It's just the pain it produces in my elbow is not good, healing pain. It's bad, only-making-it-worse pain. I don't think any of thise would bother me if someone would have just sat down with me and said "okay, well, we've done the math and the amount we agreed for you to pay is..." Not leave me some reciept like an unpersonal sales rep. Grrrr.


But the car is cute :) I've named him Tre.

Today I have LOTS of shopping to do to get me ready to go back to school. Seriously I have the longest Wal-Mart list EVER! It's gonna take me hours in that dreaded store. But this year I'm taking my handy dandy PETA cruelty free guide to try to buy as many products not tested on animals as possible.

I'm Back!

~~~~ Happy

I have missed wireless sooo much! My neighbors have been on vacation for the past week and I just can't stand my parent's dial-up anymore. I can't take it! Anyways, I'm very happy and in love with wireless.

So today Chanda and I went to our annual Renaissance Faire adventure. I absolutley love that place! First we had our Tarot Cards read which I had never had done before. She wasn't very good with Chanda. She was fixated on this supposed guy she'll fall in love in a few months. And Chanda and I just found it to be completely bullshit. She was a little better at me. She 'knew' I had just gotten out of a serious relationship. And then she talked about travel a lot! She 'knew' I would travel soon. And I was like score! I'm going to Cairo! It was fun. She was also hell-bent on this idea that Chanda and I would steal a friend's red car and hide it somewhere to play a trick on them. I'm not sure how that works but okay, if you say so...

Then I bought my jewlery. I always get jewlery from them. This time I got this pretty clayish necklace with the Norse rune for protection on it. Chanda got the rune for strength. Norse mythology is really her thing but the necklaces were so pretty but the egyptians ones cost $50! I am a poor college student and cannot afford that! I also got my mom a hand-blown blue glass bottle for her birthday. I'm quite fond of it really. And of course, the henna tattoo I always get. This year, a moon and pentacle on my left wrist. I'll post a picture tomorrow when I pick the henna off. We also watched the mud slingers, glass blowing, and the jailors shows. Also giggling over all the cute boys at the faire took up a lot of time. I love that place. I can't wait to go back next year!