Up is Down

~~~~ Pensive

Three short days and I'll be home for one month. Four weeks. Twenty-eight days. I don't know how I feel about that. I'm not in love with Miami. It's not the only place in the world I want to be at the moment. Hell, I like Wooster just as much. But at the same time when I was home less then a month ago it hit me. Wooster isn't my home anymore. I liked seeing my parents... kinda. I liked seeing the rest of my family. But I didn't get that weird "I hate the transition feeling" I normally have coming back / going to that place. I don't really want to go home for long periods of time anymore. A week here, a few days there, that's fine. But it's not HOME anymore. And at the same time, neither is Miami... no, and Egypt really isn't it either. If someone told me, you HAVE to define your home right here, right now, I'd guess I'd say it's this apartment, this room. The Black Pearl... 201 Tallawanda. This is home, moreso then any of those other places. I really am comfortable here. It's mine and I take care of it, no one else. Sure, there's a cleaning lady who comes and drops a little blue tablet in the toilet once a week but it's my home and I do with it what I want. It's a weird feeling, but a good feeling. This semester it really struck me. I'm growing up. And for the first time that isn't absolutley terrifying. Sure, I'm still nervous that I won't be able to afford Grad School, I won't graduate on time, I'll never get a job. But regardless I'm growing up. And getting things from my parents, be it clothes, food, or money has lost the appeal it use to have. I want it my way. Hands down, no question. This is my life and I'm not changing it for any reason. I'll do this my way and I won't take anything from anyone.

And I won't look back.

Oh yeah, and I finished the Golden Compass... again and now I remember what it's about and why I liked it so much the first time. So now I'm excited to see the movie. I want to be a witch, with a dæmon, who hires an armoured bear. Yeeeah!


Currently Listening To: I Don't Think Now is the Best Time - Pirates of the Caribbean at World's End