Relax

~~~~ Good

Today's been a good day. And that's saying a lot considering the stress of a life I've been having lately. I took a second job at PNC Bank as a teller.

It's a good job. It's an even better second job because it's minimum hours for maximum moo-la. But anywhoo.... We'll see how long the Panera thing lasts. It all depends on if PNC's too good to be true. If I can keep up with two classes and two jobs more power to me. But right now, I'm not sure if that's even humanly conceivable. Since Wednesday I've been working... not saying much at the moment but when do I forsee a day in the future when I will not be working? Ummm... never? I work all next week at the downtown office of PNC. I work this weekend at Panera. I imagine I'll be working next weekend at Panera as well. And then I'll be working at the branch at PNC and Panera... I'm beginning to think between Panera and PNC I'll never be scheduled for a day off. Which means I'll be kissing Panera good-bye. Because I cannot not have at least one day off for school work. And let's face it. No matter how happy I was to have that job when I was in serious financial destitute. I hate it. And I can make just as much money at Panera with considerably less hours. Score! But here I am. At the crossroads of my life just trying to figure it all out. I want to be able to start paying off school. I need to buy textbooks. A parking pass. A new printer. Al expenses that are not budgeted for in my average month. Here we go... But I'm happy. This is all working out as well as it could and at least I'm staying too busy to feel lonely... or any other real emotions except for exhaustion for that matter. But it's good. And I see Matt a lot more than I could have ever dreamed for so that's doubly good. I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune after my 9 and a half hour shift tomorrow and my 13 hour 15 minute shift Sunday but for now I feel like I can do it... until I have to go back to school!

And I've started reading again. I don't know why... maybe it's because of my serious financial issues but I've become very drawn to stories of the elite. I found Anna Godbersen's series entitled The Luxe. I'm about 3/4 of the way through the first book and I'm totally engaged. The characters are dynamic, the setting, nineteenth century Manhattan, makes it just relatable enough but still give it a slight fantastical edge, and I'm not entirely sure how the book, or the series will end for that matter. In this age of Gossip Girl and NYC Prep I feel like the Luxe is a story following the trend but with a refreshing twist. I'd totally recommend it for anyone interested in the genre!

Wow...

~~~~ Contemplative

I was on the phone with Matt today and we were just kinda talking about life in general and I mentioned I don't leave the house when I'm not working because a.) with the exception of Laura I have no friends to visit down here and b.) I have no money to spend to go anywhere. And it hit me. This is the roughest time in my life. Not only financially speaking with the economy, a low-paying job, and every mounting bills now that I am out of undergrad. But socially. I have no friends here. It's nice to live with Christina and Natalia but we aren't close. It's not like living in the apartment at school. Or being able to call Brian, or Stephanie, or Laura whenever I want. There's really no one here. I've never felt so lonely so often as I have lately. The only shining moments I have are when Matt visits at most once a week for a few hours... and if I'm super lucky over night. It's weird. I'm not necessarily unhappy. I do have the feeling however that if Matt wasn't in my life right now I'd be down-right miserable. But it's rough. Really, really rough.