Nation, You Make Me Tired

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I Haven't Been This Angry in a Very Long Time

Islamic Center to be Built Near Ground Zero.

So?????????

According to CNN people are protesting a new Islamic Center and mosque that is in the works to be built about two blocks away from Ground Zero.  There has been a slew of protestors claiming it is inappropriate to put the center in this location.
Are you freaking kidding me?!?

Number one: the horrors that occured on September 11, 2001 had nothing to do with the Islam faith.  The misguided attempts by a radical group can never be linked to a religion as a whole -- do people think the actions of the KKK represent all of Christianity???
Number two: shame on CNN for making the story seem like a real debate.  The constitution clearly states we are entitled to the freedom of religion.  If a group needs a facility to come together and celebrate, why not occupy an adandoned building?  I'm willing to bet it will increase property value in the neighborhood and reduce crime because there will be less places to loiter.  I wonder why CNN isn't realizing how racisit they are sounding calling the issue a "sensitive subject?"  So because an Islamic center is being built in a big city with a large Muslim community we should all riot in the streets.  Once more, regardless of the tragedy that took place on that day the rest of the Islamic community should not be held responsible or punished because the attempts of the ignorant few -- does anyone blame every single German for the rise of the Nazi party?

And no one's falling for the opposing side's argument that the adandoned building should be registered as a historic monument.  Hell, that's the most logical argument they have and even CNN didn't play it up.  It's a very thin mask to hide the racism underneath that everyone can see through.

(CNN) – A New York City preservation commission has cleared the way for an Islamic center and mosque to be built just blocks from Ground Zero. That's after the panel voted against protecting an abandoned building that's standing in the way of the project.

The commissioners voted unanimously against landmark status for 45-47 Park Place. It and an adjoining building already connected on the inside, 49-51 Park Place, are owned by real estate developer Soho Properties, which intends to build the Islamic center two blocks north of the former site of the World Trade Center.

Backers of the center say they plan to use it to promote interfaith understanding, but critics don't buy it and have vowed to sue the city.

Way to make America seem like a bunch of ignorant hicks.  "Oh scarey unknown religion.  They cannot be here!  They will kill us!  Brown people are bad!"  I am sincerely considering never watching CNN again for this racist bullshit they are trying to pull.

Way to prove Family Guy right...

Pop-Tarts to Open First Ever Shop and Cafe in Times Sqaure

I have mixed emotions.

On the one hand, as I have always said, if I could live off pop-tarts I would so offering me a cafe where I can eat to my heart's content sounds awesome.

On the other hand, if you're gonna charge me $5 for a pastry goodness that costs be a fraction of that at home (and tastes EXACTLY the same), then forget it.

I will have to follow this.  If they come up with new recipes or offer different flavors then it may be worth the pilgrimage.  But with big real estate comes big prices and I will never condone spending double digits on a pop-tart.  That's just sacrilegious.

Pop-Tarts to Open First Ever Shop and Cafe in Times Sq.

One the one hand: who cares what gimmicky corporate restaurant/"experience" is opening in Times Square? On the other: check out what just hit the Eater inbox:

Please join us at this exclusive “behind-the-foil” opportunity the evening before doors open to the public. Help us celebrate the opening of Pop-Tarts’ first-ever retail store and experience its one-of-a-kind interactive elements, including:
- samplings from the Pop-Tarts World Café;
-the Varietizer, which creates customized boxes of Pop-Tarts that feature your favorite flavors
-the Customization Station, which helps you design your very own Pop-Tarts T-shirt.

If there's one thing that could make Pop-Tarts better, it's having them served to you in a restaurant? Maybe there will be toasters within the tables, shabu-shabu style.

It opens to the public on August 10.

I'm still trying to decide if this growing up is all it's cracked up to be...

Obama Has the One Ring?

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Dear President Obama,
I have been your biggest supporter.  I campaigned for you, I voted for you, I stuck with you.  But I'm starting to see some similarities in your presidency and some predecessors that really begins to make me question you.
But I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.  If Jon Stewart is correct, you have just been seduced by the power of the One Ring.
So come on Mr. Obama, be Frodo.  At the end have the power to let the ring go into Mount Doom.  Destroy it once and for all so you can become a leader worth remembering.
Maybe that's what Joe Bidden's role is in all of this.  He has to be the Gollum to chew off Frodo's finger to make sure the Ring goes into the fire?

Marrying Edward Cullen: A How-To For the Mega-Obsessed

I found this site while exploring my frequent blog reads.  Now, I will admit I have read the Twilight series.  And I will admit I use to LOVE it... at first.  Then the series progressed and the horror that is Breaking Dawn hit bookshelves.  And I was over it.

I am one of the few to feel this way, however.  And Stephanie Meyer is making the big bucks marketing the crap out of her creation.  So I guess it only makes sense that she would create, and then replicate and sell the engagement ring Edward gives Bella in Eclipse.  (More ahead...)

My Summer Projects!

This summer I'll be super busy. Between working, my internship, and preparing for my Master's program and thesis I have a lot on my plate. However, summer is the season for projects. Therefore there are three things I want to complete by the end of the summer:

Painting My Kitchen

I only moved into this apartment a few months ago. My landlord was nice enough to put in new carpets, add a fresh coat of paint, and redo the kitchen's cabinets. The place looks great. However, there is some unattractive wallpaper hanging in my kitchen. I would love to take it down, and repaint the entire room. I've been browsing the Sherwin-Williams website and I like the color on these walls the best.  It's called Knockout Orange.  The bottom half of my kitchen is an off-white wood paneling so I think the bright orange will really pop.  I think that'll be a nice weekend project sometime when I can recruit the boy and get some work done!

Growing an Herb Garden

Like I said, I live in an apartment and don't have a garden.  However, I would love to grow a small pot of herbs to use in cooking and just to smell nice.  Something like the picture wouldn't be too hard to maintain.  I'm still in the researching phase of this little project but I feel like it wouldn't be too hard and ultimately would be quite rewarding.  Of course, there are those wonderful As Seen On TV marvels that claim to grow an herb garden in a tiny little micro-greenhouse.  ALL FOR ONLY $19.99!  Not sure the success of those but since I'm interested in the basic basil, parsley, oregano, and rosemary it may be a worthwhile investment.

Learn to Drive Stick

Someday I would LOVE to own this car. The new Camaros are just too sexy to resist.  Granted this does have much to do with god-awful Transformers movie (the second one, the first wasn't too bad) but I'm willing to forgive Michael Bay when that car looks like that!  Anyways, if I'm going to drive a car like I'm going to do it right.  And knowing how to drive stick is a big part of that.  Now don't get me wrong, I'm actually a good driver.  But I've never learned stick.  Sad, but true.  So, my final summer project will be to have my boyfriend teach me to drive stick.  Luckily, since his car is stick I have a perfect opportunity to learn.  I've been promising myself I'd learn for years and this is finally the time!

Are there any summer projects you've established for yourself?  What are they?

A Little Chivalry Never Killed Anyone...

I found this post on one of the blogs I read. I have mixed emotions. On the one hand I believe it's important to teach respect, especially in high school where now a days teachers are afraid to even give a student detention because they may be sued. On the other hand the over-the-top enforcement of these rules implies that, women deserve special (aka inferior) treatment. That was the implication when these types of rules first were implemented. I'm not sure. I feel a basic repertoire of respect to all would be more appropriate than "men! don't step on women's toes... they may cry!"

A high school Latin teacher in Arizona has created mandatory chivalry rules for his students in order to force the male students to behave like "gentlemen" with the young women.

Here's the rulebook:

• Boys would hold doors for girls.

• They would ask girls if they would like to be seated, and offer to take their backpacks before they sit down.

• Boys would stand if a girl leaves the room.

• They would allow girls to be served first if food is in the classroom.

• And, girls always had the right of refusal.

Why did he do it? As the teacher, Cord Ivanyi, told ABC News: "This year after watching a mass of boys literally push through a line of girls who were waiting to get food for a class party, I was bothered by the lack of respect either sex seemed to have for the other. The next day, I sat down with them at the beginning of the class and asked them if they considered what decency was."

Some might say Ivanyi's forced chivalry is sexist, because instead of encouraging good manners for all, he's teaching the young men that women deserve special treatment because of their special (inferior?) status. But others would say that there's nothing bad about teaching men to be courteous and respectful and that chivalry is just an expression of good manners.

Is it bad to FORCE men to be chivalrous?

Kick Ass Article of the Week

Parma High School Teens Make a Request for Real Sexual Education

By Connie Schultz
February 24, 2010, 6:00AM
On Monday night, two teenagers stood before Parma's school board and essentially pleaded that the grown-ups in charge change how sex education is taught in their district.
Their courage was a timely reminder that we ignore our children at their peril.
The first student to speak in the room of 150 or so in attendance was 17-year-old Daniel Sparks.
Teenage boys don't come any cleaner-cut or more poised than Daniel. In a strong, steady voice, the junior at Parma Senior High School attacked the district's abstinence-only-until-marriage sex education program, taught by Operation Keepsake.
The program sounds like a military exercise, but it sends kids virtually unarmed into a sexually complex and potentially dangerous world.
This, Daniel told the school board, is poor public health.
"Operation Keepsake has made me question education as a whole, for while they scared us into understanding what could go wrong, they afforded us no information on how things could go right," he said. "On how to protect ourselves, on the effectiveness of contraception, and empowering us with knowledge to make the right decisions before making the wrong ones."
Daniel told the board that, for 19 months, he has been unable to meet or even speak with those responsible for making decisions about how he and his classmates learn about sex, despite his dozens of letters, phone calls and e-mails.
"As a gay student," he asked, "how can I be expected to uphold a standard of abstinence until marriage when I live in a state where I cannot marry?"
Daniel's classmate, 16-year-old Jelena Loncar, borrowed from Operation Keepsake's own language to blast the curriculum for promoting gender stereotypes.
"I personally don't view men as predators or protectors," she said. "And I certainly don't view myself as a treasure or a target. I found it insulting and undermining that Operation Keepsake reduced me to a social stereotype."
Daniel and Jelena added that they were abstinent, but only because access to comprehensive sex education elsewhere helped them make informed and confident choices for their young lives.
The audience was respectful during the students' speeches. There were audible gasps only after Jelena pointed out that, in her high school's sophomore class alone, eight girls were pregnant.
Several parents came up afterward to congratulate the teenagers for their courage and to voice support. Superintendent Sarah Zatik, who earlier in the meeting announced that she was resigning in July, assured Daniel that she would meet with him. She told me later she favored comprehensive sex education, and would form a committee to "start the conversation."
Most parents -- liberal, conservative and somewhere in between -- want their children to abstain from sex, but they also want them to be safe if they choose otherwise. The overwhelming majority of studies have shown, time and again, that abstinence-plus education is more effective than programs like Operation Keepsake.
Abstinence-only proponents are heralding a small study published this month in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine that showed, for the first time, that their brand of sex education reduced sexual activity by nearly a third in 12- and 13-year-olds. The study involved 662 African-American middle-school students in four low-income schools in the northeastern United States.
An editorial accompanying the report cautioned against reading too much into this, and the study's lead author, psychologist John B. Jemmott III, agreed.
"Policy should not be based on just one study, but an accumulation of empirical findings from several well-designed, well-executed studies," Jemmott wrote.
Meanwhile, let's keep this in mind: The Centers for Disease Control reported only three months ago that chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis continue to spread in the United States, and that almost half of the 19 million new sexually transmitted infections each year affect 15- to 24-year-olds.
"We have among the highest rates of STDs of any developed country in the world," John Douglas, director of the division of sexually transmitted diseases at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, told Reuters.
"We haven't been promoting the full battery of messages," Douglas said. "We have been sending people out with one seatbelt in the whole car."
When it comes to protecting our kids, perhaps we need more teenagers like Daniel Sparks and Jelena Loncar in the driver's seat.

This is Truly a Tragedy But...

~~~~ Tired

I'm tired of hearing that the shooter was Muslim.  That has nothing to do with anything.  The gunman in Orlando was not Muslim... is his crime any less horrible?

Washington (CNN) -- Ibrahim Hooper knows the drill.
When news first broke Thursday that a shooting at Fort Hood, Texas, killed and injured U.S. soldiers, the national communications director for the Council on American-Islamic Relations wrote a statement of condemnation.
He only sent it out later, when reports emerged that the alleged shooter's name was Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan.
"As soon as we saw what appeared to be a Muslim name, we issued our statement," Hooper said. "Until that time, we were praying that no Muslim would be involved."
That's the reality of crisis management for the Muslim-American community, said Hooper, who handles communications for the nation's largest Muslim civil rights and advocacy group.
Even without confirmation that the alleged gunman was Muslim -- there was no immediate determination of any religious affiliation for Hasan -- the mere reporting of a possible Muslim name required an immediate comment, he said.
"That's unfortunately the world we live in nowadays," Hooper said. "So often, Muslims are accused of not condemning these kind of acts."
The CAIR statement said: "No political or religious ideology could ever justify or excuse such wanton and indiscriminate violence. The attack was particularly heinous in that it targeted the all-volunteer Army that protects our nation. American Muslims stand with our fellow citizens in offering both prayers for the victims and sincere condolences to the families of those killed or injured."
In a separate statement, the Muslim Public Affairs Council, based in Los Angeles, California, condemned what it called the "heinous incident."
"We are in contact with law enforcement and U.S. federal government officials to gain more facts from this tragic incident and work together in dealing with its aftermath," the group said.
Its statement called on "all members of American Muslim communities to be in contact with local law enforcement for the safety and security of their communities and their institutions."
The Islamic Information Center also issued a statement "in conjunction with all the major Muslim organizations nationwide" that condemned the attack.
"While several news reports have cited one of the gunmen to be Army Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, IIC strongly emphasizes that this attack and its perpetrator are in no way representative of the Muslim people or the peace-loving religion of Islam," the statement said.
"The individuals who perpetrated this attack blatantly acted against the teachings of Islam and humanity," it added.
After the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks on the United States, Muslim-Americans reported increased attacks and threats by revenge-minded non-Muslims.
"We've seen this before," Hooper said of a possible backlash. "Whenever there's an incident of this type, there's always the possibility this will happen."
Even non-Muslims could be targeted, he said, noting that Sikhs who wear turbans or Hispanic-Americans can be mistaken as being of Middle Eastern descent.
On Thursday night, CAIR Executive Director Nihad Awad told a news conference the alleged Fort Hood attacker's motive remained unknown.
"We urge all Americans to remain calm in reaction to this tragic event and to demonstrate once again what is best about America -- our nation's ability to remain unified even in times of crisis," Awad said. "We urge national political and religious leaders and media professionals to set a tone of calm and unity.
"Unfortunately, based on past experience, we also urge American Muslims, and those who may be perceived to be Muslim, to take appropriate precautions to protect themselves, their families and their religious institutions from possible backlash."

Come on CNN let it go.

Yaaay for steps in the right direction!

~~~~ Tired

President Obama Signs Inclusive Hate Crimes Legislation

By Cloe Axelson - Oct 28th, 2009 at 3:45 pm EDT

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Today President Obama signed into law the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd, Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act, legislation that will extend new federal protections to people who are victims of violent crime because of their sex or sexual orientation. It is an update to the federal hate crimes statute that Congress first passed in 1968. For the first time, the law that previously protected people from attacks motivated by race, religion or ethnicity will also protect gay, lesbian, transgender and disabled people.

The President will host a reception commemorating the enactment of the Hate Crimes Prevention Act in the East Room of the White House this evening.  This afternoon, before signing the bill, he said:

"...After more than a decade of opposition and delay, we've passed inclusive hate crimes legislation to help protect our citizens from violence based on what they look like, who they love, how they pray, or who they are.

"I promised Judy Shepard, when she saw me in the Oval Office, that this day would come, and I'm glad that she and her husband Dennis could join us for this event.  I'm also honored to have the family of the late Senator Ted Kennedy, who fought so hard for this legislation.  And Vicki and Patrick, Kara, everybody who's here, I just want you all to know how proud we are of the work that Ted did to help this day -- make this day possible..."

Here’s an excerpt from an editorial in the Washington Post this morning:

PRESIDENT OBAMA is scheduled to sign Wednesday what is being described as the nation's first significant pro-gay rights legislation. Attached to the defense authorization act, the measure would add sexual orientation, gender, gender identity and disability to the list of protected classes under the 1969 federal hate-crimes law…

The law doesn't outlaw bigotry or "thought crimes." It applies only to "violent acts motivated by" the characteristics of the victim -- acts, not thoughts or speech. But crimes that target someone because of race or sexual orientation are more than offenses against that individual. They can terrorize whole communities.

Barack Obama Tries Be A Role Model and People Complain?

~~~~ Weird

Barack Obama via Twitter: It should never be controversial to ask our students to stay in school. Watch today's speech.

I'm sadly amused by the entire controversy that is Obama's address to students.  Amused because, well, the president isn't allowed to address his constituents... even if they are of the future?  Sad because of quotes like this: "Thinking about my kids in school having to listen to

that just really upsets me."  Why is this sad?  Because this Colorado suburban mother commented on Obama's speech last week, well before the text of the speech had been released.  All that was known was Obama wanted to address the school children directly on what they could do to help ensure the future of this country.  And she was upset?  Ummm....  And it's not like this move is unprecedented.  Reagan, Bush Sr. and Bush Jr. have all addressed students regarding their own educations.  They just didn't experience the media scrutiny for some reason.  A Teacher from Baltimore commented that it's terrible that our country has: "become so polarized that we believe that our president is an enemy and not our leader."

Now I've read the Full Speech and found nothing wrong with what he had to say.  Yes, I'm liberal.  Yes, I'm a democrat.  So everything he had to say I pretty much agreed with.  But the only thing I could find throughout the entire speech that might disturb right-wing conservatives is a few mentions of curing AIDS, fighting poverty, and all his examples of hard-working students are minorities.  *Gasp*  Oh, and he uses J.K. Rowling as an example of someone who wouldn't give up even after the first Harry Potter was rejected 12 times.  Harry Potter!  Witches!  Satan!  THE BRITISH!!!



I just don't get it.  What's the big deal?

Obama urges students to work hard, stay in school.

I Thought This Day Would Never Come!

~~~~ Excited

Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day at IGN.com

Currently Listening To: The Blood of Cu Chulainn - The Boondock Saints

One Word. Pig.

 
~~~~ Accomplished

I have one word for you.  Pig.

Chris Brown's CNN Interview

Pop star Chris Brown has admitted guilt and apologized for assaulting his then-girlfriend Rihanna in February, but he does not remember hitting the singer, he told CNN's Larry King. Looking at police reports about the incident makes him feel like he's reading about a stranger, Brown said in his first television interview since the arrest. "I'm in shock, because, first of all, that's not who I am as a person, and that's not who I promise I want to be," he said in an exclusive interview that airs Wednesday night. "I just don't know what to think. I'm just like, wow," Brown said. "It's crazy to me." Brown, 20, said he still loves singer Rihanna, whose full name is Robyn Rihanna Fenty. But, he added, it is tough for him to look at the photo showing Rihanna's battered face, the one image that might haunt and define him forever.  "When I look at it now, it's just like, wow, like, I can't believe that that actually happened,"
He now has to keep his distance from Rihanna, because of a judge's restraining order.
"We have to be like 10 yards away from each other," Brown said.
The February argument began over an incident at a Beverly Hills party, according to Brown's probation report.
An earlier, sworn statement by Los Angeles Police detective DeShon Andrews said the incident began when Rihanna found a text message on Brown's cell phone from "a woman who Brown had a previous sexual relationship with."
The pair argued while in a sports car driven by Brown, the police statement said.
It went on to describe the assault in great detail, saying Brown punched Rihanna -- identified in the statement as Robyn F. -- numerous times and put her in a head lock, restricting her breathing and causing her to start to lose consciousness. Brown sentenced for assault; other incidents surface. He threatened to beat her and kill her, according to the statement, and he bit her ear and her fingers.
Rihanna's injuries included cuts and bruises inflicted by a large ring on Brown's right hand, which he used to punch her, the probation report said.
Brown pleaded guilty to felony assault on June 22. A plea deal kept him out of jail. A second felony charge, making criminal threats, was dropped. He was sentenced to five years probation and six months of community labor.
"It means he walks the straight and narrow for five years," said Mark Geragos, Brown's attorney.
"I've grown to love this kid like a son or a nephew. I have a high degree of confidence -- I'll say it now so that you can play it back if he ever does anything -- but a high degree of confidence that he's not going to do anything like this in the future."
Brown called the sentence fair and agreed that everything comes with consequences.
"They want me to pick up trash, remove graffiti," he said. "I'm a hard worker, it's something I'm willing to do."
Why did it happen? How did it happen?
Those are questions Brown and his mother, Joyce Hawkins, have been asking.
"Chris has never, ever been a violent person, ever," Hawkins said.
However, CNN obtained a probation report for Brown last week that said he and Rihanna were involved in at least two other domestic violence incidents before the February attack for which Brown was sentenced.
"The first incident occurred in Europe about three months before the present offense," the report said.
"The victim [Rihanna] and the defendant [Brown] were involved in a verbal dispute and the victim [Rihanna] slapped the defendant [Brown]. He responded by shoving her into a wall."
Another incident happened in January, three weeks before the Hollywood incident, when Brown and Rihanna were visiting her home country of Barbados, the report said.
"The defendant [Brown] and the victim [Rihanna] were visiting Barbados and were driving a Range Rover loaned to them by a local dealership," the investigator wrote. "They had an argument inside the car. The defendant [Brown] exited and broke the front driver and passenger side windows of the car."
Brown's mother remembers being shocked and upset when he came to her after the attack in February and told her about it.
She said her husband was abusive -- and Brown knew it. "I used to be scared to go to bed," the pop star said.
Brown said he is not blaming that history for the attack on Rihanna. But, he added, nobody taught him how to control his emotions and anger.
Rihanna calls Brown's mother "Mom." The two have spoken and seen each other periodically since the incident. The court order that prevents her son from seeing Rihanna does not extend to Hawkins.
"I let her know that I was very, very baffled, what had happened and apologized for my son, along with I'm so sorry what happened to you," Hawkins said.
"And I didn't know what -- I didn't know what else to say, and I gave her a hug and she hugged me as well." Hawkins started sobbing at this point in the interview.
The singer has not seen Rihanna for a couple of months, and said the separation has been difficult, especially when it comes to her dating others. But they will always be friends, Brown said.

You don't remember it?  Bullshit.  You're just sorry you're in a career where everyone notices when you get caught.  There's no defense for this.  No excuses.  Chris Brown is a pig.  He'll always be a pig.  This is disgusting.

Currently Listening To: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - The Beatles

Relax

~~~~ Good

Today's been a good day. And that's saying a lot considering the stress of a life I've been having lately. I took a second job at PNC Bank as a teller.

It's a good job. It's an even better second job because it's minimum hours for maximum moo-la. But anywhoo.... We'll see how long the Panera thing lasts. It all depends on if PNC's too good to be true. If I can keep up with two classes and two jobs more power to me. But right now, I'm not sure if that's even humanly conceivable. Since Wednesday I've been working... not saying much at the moment but when do I forsee a day in the future when I will not be working? Ummm... never? I work all next week at the downtown office of PNC. I work this weekend at Panera. I imagine I'll be working next weekend at Panera as well. And then I'll be working at the branch at PNC and Panera... I'm beginning to think between Panera and PNC I'll never be scheduled for a day off. Which means I'll be kissing Panera good-bye. Because I cannot not have at least one day off for school work. And let's face it. No matter how happy I was to have that job when I was in serious financial destitute. I hate it. And I can make just as much money at Panera with considerably less hours. Score! But here I am. At the crossroads of my life just trying to figure it all out. I want to be able to start paying off school. I need to buy textbooks. A parking pass. A new printer. Al expenses that are not budgeted for in my average month. Here we go... But I'm happy. This is all working out as well as it could and at least I'm staying too busy to feel lonely... or any other real emotions except for exhaustion for that matter. But it's good. And I see Matt a lot more than I could have ever dreamed for so that's doubly good. I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune after my 9 and a half hour shift tomorrow and my 13 hour 15 minute shift Sunday but for now I feel like I can do it... until I have to go back to school!

And I've started reading again. I don't know why... maybe it's because of my serious financial issues but I've become very drawn to stories of the elite. I found Anna Godbersen's series entitled The Luxe. I'm about 3/4 of the way through the first book and I'm totally engaged. The characters are dynamic, the setting, nineteenth century Manhattan, makes it just relatable enough but still give it a slight fantastical edge, and I'm not entirely sure how the book, or the series will end for that matter. In this age of Gossip Girl and NYC Prep I feel like the Luxe is a story following the trend but with a refreshing twist. I'd totally recommend it for anyone interested in the genre!

Wow...

~~~~ Contemplative

I was on the phone with Matt today and we were just kinda talking about life in general and I mentioned I don't leave the house when I'm not working because a.) with the exception of Laura I have no friends to visit down here and b.) I have no money to spend to go anywhere. And it hit me. This is the roughest time in my life. Not only financially speaking with the economy, a low-paying job, and every mounting bills now that I am out of undergrad. But socially. I have no friends here. It's nice to live with Christina and Natalia but we aren't close. It's not like living in the apartment at school. Or being able to call Brian, or Stephanie, or Laura whenever I want. There's really no one here. I've never felt so lonely so often as I have lately. The only shining moments I have are when Matt visits at most once a week for a few hours... and if I'm super lucky over night. It's weird. I'm not necessarily unhappy. I do have the feeling however that if Matt wasn't in my life right now I'd be down-right miserable. But it's rough. Really, really rough.

Comfortable

~~~~ Content

I've moved. I know live in a lovely three bedroom house with two fantastic girls. I have my own room, direct tv, and super secret parking spot in the back. I love the house, the location, and the privacy and comfort. I bought a new dresser from Ikea that, without Matt, would still be sitting in pieces on the floor, a new nightstand, a new lamp, and a new bed. And p.s. I love my bed! It's all come together quite nicely and I feel like I finally have a home.

I've registered. I finally took the initiative and called UC, got my username set up, registered for my classes, and became an official UC student. I'm all good to go. I went ahead and took UC's health insurance plan so I have that. I'm still struggling a little with the whole FAFSA aide junk since, well, I was spoiled as an undergraduate and never had to deal with that but I think in a week I should have it all figured out and hopefully have most of my bills paid.

I've settled. Work's going fine now. I haven't made close out-of-work friends but there are people I can be happily social with. However, I no longer feel like I need a network here. I'm not connected. I don't think I'll ever get "homey" in Cincy. That's fine. I'm only doing this for a year. Then I'm moving on to bigger and better things... I have Matt. I have Laura. I have Michele and Brian not too far away in Oxford. That's all I really need. I'm happy. Surprisingly happy considering the way I felt a few short weeks ago.

Money's still tight. I really wouldn't expect it to be any other way at the moment though. I did splurge on a haircut. When I say splurge, I mean chop off a foot of hair to have donated to Locks of Love. Which I guess isn't really splurging anyway because they give you a discount at the salon when you donate your hair. But I did drive back to Oxford to have it done. I'm happy with the outcome. It's a little shorter than I wanted but it's manageable and drives so very quickly :)

Next week is Alex's wedding. I'm actually looking forward to going back home with Matt. He'll be a wonderful anchor in the crazy world that is my family. And he should be here tomorrow... provided his flu doesn't come back! Boo for getting sick in July!

All-in-all I'm happier than I expected to be at this point in my life. I still have this anxiety of the unknown future I may or may not hold. I really really want to achieve all my dreams and ambitions but I'm a little worried that the world we're heading to will prevent me from doing so. But I'm staying open minded and hoping beyond all hope that this may all work out and that I truly do have a chance at happiness.

Settling In

~~~~ Anxious

Things are sorta beginning to calm down. I've been at Panera for over two weeks and while I still have no idea how I'll ever remember everything that needs to be known for that job I feel a sense of routine settling in. I've gotten my first paycheck but I am still sincerely strapped for cash. Pizza rolls are only $1 a box at Biggs and that is essentially what I've been living off of. I may have to switch to something even less appealing like ramen or pb&j (which believe it or not i hate with a firey passion) but hard times man... hard times. I guess that's one of the things I should appreciate about my job... and take full advantage of... free food on days that I work. I'll need to milk that for all it's worth until I reach a level of financial stability. I know I'll hit my 20 hour mark this week so that's encouraging. 20 hours a week is the minimum I need to work to be able to pay the bills. I won't have much leftover from that but it's something.

I have all my furniture now. My night stand's in my trunk. My dresser's sitting in Matt's garage and I'm picking my bed up on Tuesday. Tuesday. Moving day. When I get my own space and a renewed sense of normalcy in my life. I can't wait. As long as I can really pay the bills like I think I can... even if it is paycheck to paycheck I hope to feel empowered. I hope to feel independent. I hope to feel like I have a life.

I Know I'm Probably Way Behind...

~~~~ Full

But seeing this gives me hope for humanity.  Hilarious!

A Collective Sigh of Relief

~~~~ Happy

I have a job.   That's right you're looking at a happy, employee of Panera Bread... complete with cheesy pastel polo and apron.  I couldn't be more relieved.  This is a job.  This is money.  This is something to do and occupy my time until September.  I don't know yet if it's enough to get an apartment on my own but if it is.  I'm self-sufficient... sorta.  I'm doing it on my own.  It's an amazing feeling.  Just having the support network as... well... support and not a lifeline.  I can do this.  I know now I can.  Fuck you economy.  I'll show you what I can do.  I can be a fucking independent woman and be good at it too... all because I'm selling coffee and baked goods... hmm.  It's the little things in my life, isn't it?

That being said my first day of WORK is Thursday.  So I came home for what may be the last time in a while.  That's just fine.  Wooster's gained back it's quaint nostalgia for me instead of the fear of doomed failure and permanence it once held.  It's nice to be back for a few days.  I enjoy that.  Relaxing... quiet... CLEAN.  But I'll head back to Cincy Thursday.  With a brand-spanking new perspective.  Tomorrow's agenda includes and oil change, laundry, and garage sale shopping... I know stand back from my wild Wednesday.  Then I'll be leaving here Thursday morning to be back in time for WORK and then I WORK again Saturday.  I'm so happy.  I'm doing something.  Next up on my major goals for my life... bugging UC until I get some info on GRAD SCHOOL.  Man.  I am so ready to grow up.  This is actually exciting!